Last time I checked I had 15 Staples and Mastitis. What exactly qualifies you?

So I decided to entrust my son to his aunt for the weekend. I had spoken with his grandmother and she expressed the fact that she hadn’t seen him in a while and wanted to spend more time with him. She wasn’t able to do it the prior weekend because she was starring in her very own episode of locked up: the prison love edition but this weekend would be fine. I asked his aunt if she wouldn’t mind watching him this weekend. She said no problem just bring the car seat and the stroller. I said sure, not thinking anything of it. So Saturday I drop him off, we text to make sure king is fine and not screaming, I spoke to her, all seemed well. Sunday things took a drastic turn. I adapted my Fuck Kingston’s co-founder attitude since I found out some less than great things about our relationship. At this point I felt we no longer need to speak so I wanted nothing further to do with him and as a result my son wouldn’t have anything to do with him until he was released from jail. I expressed this much to his aunt (not the one babysitting)

So I go to breakfast and received a call from Kingston’s co-founder. I cussed him out and told him don’t call me and relayed to him the information I found. He confessed and apologized then asked me to promise that I won’t get angry if he told me something. I promised. He said his sister brought my baby to see him. PROMISE BROKEN. WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK FACE
He then says you lied, but I’m just joking. Hahaha
So I call his aunt, she doesn’t answer. I call the home phone, his niece answers, I ask about the aunt, she says she’s not here, I said oh she’s at the park or something. She said no, they went to Baltimore to see Mr. Magnificent. At this point I’m beyond pissed and considering reporting a kidnapping. So finally I get in contact with one of his sisters and I said soooo you took King to see his father. She replies yeah, probably the last time he’ll see him. So I’m like so you took my son to Baltimore and didn’t ask me, or say anything? She replies I didn’t think it would be a big deal.

About half an hour later I get the following message from the other sister: We’ll call her sister B

Sister B: (3:51 pm) What’s up. I hear it’s a problem we took King to see Mr. Magnificent. We in traffic but thinkl we’ll be hime within a hour and a half or so hopefully.
Me: It’s a problem b/c no one tole me and your sister knew I wouldn’t have okayed that
Sister B: But why wouldn’t u okay it. Why can’t he see his father? And I didn’t ask bc im watching him and I didn’t think I had to ask to take him anywhere.
Me: you wouldn’t have to aske to take him to the park. But going to BMore is completely different. That is my son and his so called father hasn’t done shit and I’m the one with the custody so that’s why I should have been asked.
Sister B: Custody? I don’t remember court but u can have that. How u personally feel about r. Magnificient is ur business but to deny a child from seeing their father aint right whether he’s an idiot or not. When u mad at Mr. Maginificent then u wanna keep king away. We all said if you need help call or we will watch him whenever but u don’t. So even tho he aint acting how u want, his family is tryna stop up but u don’t use the help.

(Sidenote: My babysitter needed a day off to handle some personal business. I asked sister B to babysit. She said yes. Tuesday evening I get a text saying she is going to Atlantic City but will be back in the morning. Wednesday morning I wait, no message… I call in to work to tell my sup I’m going to be late. At 10 am I receive a text message from Sister B telling me that she is sooo Drunk….so I did ask for help and was shown that she’s unreliable mmmmkay. Okay back to the program)


Me: I’m not going to argue this one. That is my son and no one asked, no one said anything. You all did that. That’s wrong. But no problem. Monday morning I will file for the “right” to tell people that I should be aware of my child’s location.
Sister B: whatever jasmine b/c ur taking this to some whole other level. We all his family the way your sister and ur mother is and aint no one trynna harm YOUR son. No one ask Mr. Magnificent if he can go anywahere and that’s his child too at the end of the day whether he’s being a good father or not but I hear u.
Me: If I called the cops right now they’d side with me. U didn’t ask and ya’ll we’re trynna be sneaky. Your sister knew how I felt about that. I don’t use King as a pawn. Ur mother called and said she wanted him to come over. I said fine. When has anyone called and said they want him to come over? Never.
Sister B: U needed a break and asked mt to watch him and I did. He’s been fed, bathed and taken care of very well. (<---- keep this in mind for the end of the evening recap)Me: The point is you don’t do that and you’re trying to excuse it and its not right. Ur wrong. Why do I have to call your house and have your neice tell me that Ya’ll went to see Mr. Magnificient?
Sister B: For real if you wanna call the cops then go ahead. I’m watching him, not my sister so it don’t matter what she know. And aint no one tryna be sneaky
I know ur mad at Mr. Magnificent and that’s where all this is coming from. I hate how u use Kingston as a pawn but u right. It’s YOUR son and you can use and do what u feel, bring him when you want.
Sister B: I don’t fear u therefore I don’t have to sneak. And no one ask too much bc its always some bullshit and I know I’m not trynna get in u and Mr. Magnificent’s shit so I let u.
Sister B: We’re Bringing YOUR child to u so u don’t have to worry.

So you see I just stopped texting b/c it was getting stupid and I was seeing Red. At this point I’m ready to Wayne Brady a bitch and call the cops and put out an amber alert. My friends calmed me down. I called his grandmother. She began speaking as though she wasn’t aware of the issue, recapping her time with king and then ended with I hope he comes back soon . So I said well that’s actually why I’m calling b/c they took him to Bmore and no one said anything to me and now your daughter is trying to tell me that she has every right to and that I’m wrong. I explained the story, she agreed with me and said she’d talk to her daughters and that she’d back me up. When they finally returned, I had my sister get my son. So he comes home with a big ole smile and hug and runs around my house. I go to my room to finish my laundry and I hear King screaming. I think maybe he just walked into the wall (yeah I know it sound crazy but he does this verry often) so I shrug it off but he’s still screaming and then my dad calls me. As I’m walking to him, he’s walking toward me walking funny and SCREAMING. So my dad says I think he’s having trouble pooping. I take him in the bathroom and pull down his pants and see there’s Shit stuck in his butt. Cue Beyonce’s EGO: It’s too big, It won’t fit. So I put ointment on his butt so it wouldn’t tear and make it easier for the poopoo to make its debut. (because at this point its stretched to capacity) Still nothing. So I’m in panic mode b/c King is SCREAMING. Like Bloodcurling screaming so I have my you know ur a mother moment… I stick my lubed- up finger in king’s butt and and dig out the offending doody. It was rock hard and huge. Takes me about 4 good attempts to get the entire doodie out his butt. Once the clog is removed, his rectum is able to release the rest of the doodie but of course now It’s tinged with red b/c he’s bleeding. I examine the pooh and blood concoction to ensure it has not tissue or large clots in it and he passes that test. I wash him off and swab his bottom with a hot rag and some ointment. King breathes a sigh of relief, I’ve renewed my anger for his aunts for as long as King has been in my “custody” he’s never had the problem but one night with them and he’s prairie-dogging it? So yeah I’m pissed. I resolve to never let him go over there again. My parents said let him go when he can talk. I’m thinking he’ll go when bats can speak English fluently.