"They only want me for my Pimp Juice Whoooooo Hooooooo"

More Specifically Boob Juice

i'm an advocate of breastfeeding. In fact I do believe all those moms receiving wic should be made to at least TRY breastfeeding seriously instead of simply receiving cases of that iron smelling B.S they hand out. Sure it's free for the mom receiving it but it's not like Enfamil is handing them out free. Somebody's paying for it. and before anyone thinks I'm anti-public assistance let me stop you there. I'm all for helping others but if nature gave you a perfectly good source to feed your child with and you opt not to because you dont want to do it I should be able to not pay for the feeding of said child. (yet another reason I'd never run for office. You can't say this type of truth without it coming back to haunt you.)

Anyway, back to my original Topic at hand
Booby Juice.
Here is a conversation I had with a new mother about breastfeeding:
Me: So you're going to breastfeed?
her: probably not, I don't like my breast being touched. It's comfortable.
Me: More uncomfortable than sitting with your legs up in the air pushing and farting at the seem time?
her: confused blank face

another conversation, same girl
me: SO you're going to breastfeed right?
her: well i'm going to try
me: (this is the point where I tried bribing her to do so)
well if you do i'll buy you the carrier.

another day, same girl

me: so you're going to keep up the breastfeeding
her: ummm, well you know i haven't been really eating well lately, like i eat alot of junkfood, i'm just not ready to really committ to that
me (what I said in my head): well you're 16, you're not really ready to be a mom but you are.
turns out I actually said it outloud. enter awkward silence.

well that was that. I knew she wasn't going to breastfeed (just like i know a girl who eats a pan of brownies doesn't really wanna lose weight ;) )
It's too easy for her not to, she knows the great ole state of NY will buy her that 15 dollar can of Enfamil if she doesn't. There's no real incentive here. Breastfeeding should be made mandatory and a lactation counselor should be made to record serious attempts. If not then you'd better figure out how you're going to pay for enfamil and all the other shit you have to buy with  your food stamps instead of us giving you additional allowances for formula. We make it too easy. I do know there are instances where some women just can't breastfeed and i'm ok with that but they should just be made to try. what's that old saying, give a man a fish, he has a good dinner, teach him to fish, he has dinnder for life. Same concept.

so you've decided to breastfeed and now you've got to put up with this

 so let me understand

This is OK

but this isn't?

and then i'm on the bus, there is a WOMAN standing over me, lady sitting in front of me with her infant child on her lap. At some point her child whimpers and she whips out her boob and starts feeding. woman above me looks at me like I should be disgusted at the woman who's boob is out and working in front of me. I look at her like not an issue, all the while trying to whisper on the phone what's happening. Person on the phone thinks the feeding mom should at least cover up.

like get one of these,

or these.

Um nah

1st off, it's a breast. We see ass cracks all day everyday and not too many put up a fuss about those.

2ndly, i don't eat in the dark. I know they have dark restuarants coming to a town near you but I don't. I grew up in the Pj's i need to make sure the rasin in my rasin bran is in fact a rasin.

lastly, you ever hit a sauna? would you want to sit in there for an extended period of time? I didn't think so, why would you want an infant baby to sit under some hot tent (especially on a hot day) for about 30 minutes just to eat? Should be equally ass illegal as leaving said infant child in a car in Arizona on July 15th.