The Fabulous Matriarch does Life

"Nope Only mommy"

2011-05-18T07:51:00.000-07:00

Anyway I turned 27 yesterday. It was a great day until the end where I read King 2 books.

The first was easy enough. WHo doesn't like Marvel comics?
The second pulled my heartstrings and made me ask myself what did i do? (In one of those serious pontificating voices too)

We read Curious George's Big Book of Curiosity and get to the page about family

So one by one I identify each family member and king repeats after me.
Me: sister
king: sister
Me: do you have a sister
king: No

Me: Brother
King: Brodder
Me: Brother
King: Brodder
Me: sigh.. do you have a brother
King: No

Me: Mother
King: Modder
Me: Mother
King: I already said that
Me: sigh. ok. DO you have a mother?
King: No
Me: Well mother is another word for mommy. Do you have a mommy?
King: Yes
Me: Mommy kisses

Me: Father
king: Fodder
Me: Father
King: I said fodder already.

Sidenote it's always funny how crystal clear children speak when they're being rude or sassy.

Me: do you have a father?
King: No
Me: King father is another word for daddy, do you have a daddy?
King: No
Me: You don't have a daddy?
King: Nope only mommy.
Me: Mommy kisses

We went on to finish the first half of the book (that book is toooo big for me to read all in one night but the entire time I kept thinking, what did I do to my baby? I know you all are going to say it's not kingsmomma, it's kingsdad that is the problem but one has to properly analayze the situation to figure where they factor into this and I know that I am 50% to blame in this situation.

The time has come the Walrus said.........

2011-05-05T07:17:00.000-07:00

I've changed. I 've looked over the blog for the past two years and while I know I've changed, somethings have largely remained the same. I've sat stagnant and dreamed great dreams as other people began living theirs. While Mo closed on her house, Ms. Mary Mack delved into photography and has a bustling business, a gorgeous daughter with a hilarious twitter page whom I'm sure will be the amongst next generation of Disney stars and Dave get full custody of his daughter (Amen).

I've watched the emotional journey of Gem whose recent loss made me stop in my tracks and appreciate the heck out of my son. You have no idea what your recent blog post have done for me. I've always loved my son to pieces but i've always taken it for granted. When I was pregnant I took for granted that he'd be healthy. It's really a complicated thing, pregnancy, child birth and life and I think we are all guilty of skipping past lavender fields without smelling the fragrance.

So i'm sure this is sounding like a sign off and in some ways it is. I'm not sure I want to keep blogging or rather than I can so maybe this is my good bye. Maybe I'll come back tomorrow. I don't know.
I do know that I've been inspired by the majority of the people I've come across on these years. I've missed reading Mr. Socialights pages, I've laughed until my abs needed no more work reading the craziness Khaki has rolling around in her head but most of all i truly enjoy watching everyone grow.

I never did get to shoot that wedding, there was a medical emergency so they never made it to city hall. That's about as big of a wedding i'd cover but I do have some great things coming up with that venture that I'm really quite excited about. really.

I've got some other plans that I'll keep to myself. One tends to feel like a failure (ahem anyone remember my plans with law school?) when they don't pan out as expected.

anywho, I'll see you on the flip side of things

Maybe

que sera sera

P.S. I know there are a helluva alot of you like 12kyle and crecks <--I will beat you on WWF one day) that I did not specifically mention. Please don't take it personally, I's getting old. I appreciate you all

Photag

2011-04-22T09:31:00.000-07:00

A little late but here are some of the pics I took

and I've got a wedding today.

Getting to Happy

2011-04-14T09:14:00.000-07:00

I claimed happiness this year and intend to get it by any means possible. Take it how you want but by golly Kingsmomma is finnin to be happy.

So after that itsha with ole dude's son's mother, I cleansed and refocused. I started writing again, dreaming again and became more focused.

I have always had a thing for photography but have always been an overthinker and procrastinator.
I whipped out my Nikon D3100 (which will soon be replaced by that D5100.. I know I know my camera is all of 3 months old) and started clicking away.

Without further ado I present 1000wordsphotography (ahem pratice makes purrfect mmkay)

^^Sooooooo Next on my list is a tripod

and my personal favorites

So I've been putting in some hours with that project and have my first "gig" on Saturday. Go Jasmine! Go Jasmine! Go Jasmine!
OK I'm Done but can you Tell I'm Mega Excited?

This Just might be Baby momma Drama

2011-04-04T10:23:00.000-07:00

So if you know me, you know I despise the term baby momma and even worse i hate the phrase "Baby momma Drama" my naive self could never fathom a situation where a woman can't put the nonsense aside for the sake of her child. uhhhh It appears I was wrong.

Recently, I found myself to be "talking" to someone who has quite the online persona..not in the way you'd think. He never created a twitter account and yet there in cyberspace is a twitter account dedicated to his penis (i never saw it, dont planning on looking at it). Anytime his son's mother deems it prudent she twitters play by play of their relationship including an old picture of him sniffing around her birth canal (that I saw and giggled about) and more recently lame ass attempts at "dissing" myself, my son and Khaki.
While the rest of the world was discussing Chris Brown's Nude pic, I was given the heads up that someone was talking about me on Twitter.

over

and over

and over again

Oh there's more to it than that But I refuse to navigate her page any longer. I was going to include her twitter name but chose against it, honestly if you're not into justin beiber, silly broad rantings or Chris Brown you will think it's ignorant anyway funny though that we share many many "friends" on twitter.

Here's my issue. I don't know this chick. Never said one word to her or about her. The only thing remotely related to her that I said to him was that he needed to take care of his child. wait that's not true i actually told him that perhaps they should make an attempt at reconciling. I traded words with her son's father over the fact that she had too much information about me for someone whom he claimed he hadn't spoken to in years. Their son is 5 years old, they both agree that they haven't seen each other (therefore haven't bumped reproductive organs) in years so why the hell is she calling me out? She would have you believe that she has moved on, yada yada yada, she doesn't love him etc etc etc however in one of the tweets she mentioned that she was mutual friends with some girl...what she failed to disclose was that the mutual friend was her son's father. Yes the very same man she constantly talks about, berates and whatever other adjective you could muster to describe the shit she does online. Why would you want to be friends with someone who "hit you while you were holding your baby" or doesn't support your child or that you hate? I wish I were still friends with the dude (he and I have since stopped communicating. I don't do drama and I don't do liars.) so I could show you the post where she and he commented back and forth like old chums...not at all like the warring factions she presents on twitter. In fact, she only recently began this tirade against myself and the ~~not so~~ lovely khaki when she found out (through twitter of course) that his ex girlfriend was pregnant. She said that thing about my son being a brat when she thought he was chumming on my lady parts. jealousy does that I suppose but I'd never speak ill of anyone's child...unless said child directly angered me.

Now being a single parent looking to enter the dating pool, I hate the thought that someone may not want to date a man or woman with kids because they don't want to deal with "baby momma drama" but I SOOOOOOOO understand where it comes from. I still refuse to believe "women" like this are norm rather than the exception, but I now am a firm believer that there is such a thing as baby momma Drama (baby daddy drama)

rant ahead beware.

2011-02-18T10:47:00.000-08:00

"Life for me aint been no crystal stair"

I could say that but life aint over. I doubt i Hit my best years. (my boobs have tho) Something's been off though. I don't know what it is, maybe it's my shoe ban. Maybe it's been that since 2011 people who say they are friends have acted wayyy less than.

Dissapointment on lots of fronts.
I think I do the best that I can and it's not good enough.
I'm tired.
Tired of having a fibroided uterus that dictates how many OB's i will soak through (btw OB i really wanna know wtf happened that you had a shortage. I mean i switched to playtex but still) and how many vicodins I will pop in a week. You know how high that shit gets you? shit i'm high at work, high when im playing with the king. shit is bonkers.

Tired of people looking at my fro sideways. Bitch I'm here and I'm kinky.
Mad that I had to chuck the dueces to my favorite wig LouWanda

Mad b/c the one book that i dream about being my best seller is the one book i WILL NEVER get back. Stupid cocksucking blackberry.

Tired of douchebags and assholes and i'm tired of being nice.
Wait Jasmine is nice.
Yes tired of being nice. I hate feeling taken advantage of and im at the point where i'm ready to say fuck you, fuck you and fuck you. Wait i said that already.

Got Bamboolzed and Hoodwinked. That won't happen again.

Got Trey Songz Triple P album and i want my damn money back. Shit is gutter material, just one big compilation of songs, no cohesion and his voice aint even all that. Fucking moaning and trembling ass billygoat. Tight 6 packs mean nothing to my ears homie.

and I hate Shrinkage

How to turn a dream shoe into a nightmare....

2011-02-17T12:31:00.000-08:00

Take One Sexy Ass shoe

throw in some Niblets

and

Voila!
You've managed to make even the sexiest shoe look atrocious.

I was programmed to be this stubborn

2011-02-01T08:28:00.000-08:00

I've never been one to really believe the hype behind astrology. Sure I'm obstinate, feisty and bull headed but does that have to do with me being a Taurus or is that the manifestation of the Napolean Complex. But then stumbled upon this:

and it was on point

Venus is her ruler, so she knows all the arts of seduction without the aid of textbooks. check
She is quite sentimental, and quickly becomes possessive. With her, the course of true love will not run smoothly. She is innately jealous. Ok Don't want to admit it but True
She'll say exactly what is on her mind. She may end up breaking crockery over your head, just by way of emphasis. Guilty
If you are linked with a Taurean woman, be prepared to give in-or get out. Again Guilty as Charged
Scorned, she is a bad enemy. She will use any weapon at her command to get revenge. Yup
She is practical, not idealistic. Exactly.
The more she learns about men, the more particular she becomes about choosing lovers. She sets up guidelines, and if the man doesn't measure up, she won't let him get far. True Again
Inside every lean Taurus female there is a fat one trying to get out. fucked up but true...
Taurus female may look fragile and helpless, but she's not. She is always stubborn, and persistent. Yup
The Taurus woman is a demanding lover. One way or another, you will deliver when you get her (or she finally takes you) to bed. She'll leave you breathless. After all, this is the arena where she functions best. Every encounter has the intensity of a corrida. Ahem... No comment
Her skin is soft and glowing, a general asset of all Taurus women, and her low neckline reveals full breasts, for most Taurus women are curvaceous. *Looks down at these C/D's* yeah i guess that's true
She is a good cook, a good bedmate, and can make a good wife, for she is extremely loyal and loving. However, a word of caution: She will never forgive infidelity. If you have a roving eye, don't take up with her. You'll regret it. Truer words have never been spoken
She is the quintessential woman. Treat her like one Couldn't agree more

Here's where it took a turn for the worse

But she can go to extremes. Taurus woman is torn between a tremendous sexual drive, and a need for security. Since the sexual need is great, it can turn her to nymphomania and/or prostitution. She must have her gratification. <---nawl Mane. Not even going down like that yo.
The older she gets, the more she will let down in her physical appearance. In the beginning, there was a silk sheet on the bed. Now, what turns her on is a dirty blanket stretched over sand or a filthy floor. And she loves those work odors emanating from a man's body. Nah, not at all. wash tem balls please and thank you---MGMT
Other hang-ups: Her need for oral gratification inevitably results in an enthusiasm for fellatio. let's skip this part Some Taurus women turn to lesbianism. Once she tries this form of gratification, however, she finds it difficult to break off. She will go from woman to woman, always looking for a sexier, more satisfactory partner. Not THIS Taurean woman...maybe the April Taurus?

Now this is the Doozy. Utterly digusted was I to read the following:

The Taurus woman is also subject to hang-ups such as coprophilia, an attraction to filth or dung. She handles the excrement or rubs it on her body. A fortunately small minority of Taurus women suffer from a strong urge to urinate on the male (scatophagy) as part of the sexual foreplay, and some even consider the drinking of urine as an aphrodisiac.

That entire last paragraph certainly does not describe this taurus woman. Homie don't play that. Nah uh nope, not even a little bit

Real Talk...

2011-01-11T06:48:00.000-08:00

....With the ex-con

Rob: What the hell did you do to your hair?
Me: it's just twisted up that's all
Rob: But what the fuck is that?
(thee most extreme reaction to my natural hair thus far)

Rob: How's the baby?
Me: Oh he's fine. Big. You'd be surprised
Rob: So how is Mr. Magnificent?
Me:I mean I guess he's fine
Rob: What you mean? You don't talk to him?
Me: Nah not Really
Rob: Ah man what happened?
Me: He's got a Roaming Penis
Rob:......(let's that settle in) Ha well you know us guys One touch and we Spring free.
Me: Right..... Welll where you been?
Rob: Man i was locked up
Me: Oh, well Glad you out..Hope it stays that way
Rob: Yeah but it's hard out here, It's a recession..Nobody's hiring
Me: yeah well McDonalds is always hiring
Rob: no they aint, I went to one and they said they aren't Hiring
ME: well the one in Brooklyn is
Rob: I aint traveling all the way to Brooklyn
Me: Oh aiight, well where you working now then?
Rob: No where
Me: Exactly!! Beggers can't be choosy
Rob: But I got some stuff I can sell
Me: Guess you'll be going back huh?

2011-01-10T09:38:00.001-08:00

"one thing i don’t need
is any more apologies
i got sorry greetin me at my front door
you can keep yours"

2010-12-29T07:52:00.001-08:00

Thinking of you until my heart beats no more

How can you not for fall someone who says that to you?

The one thing You must do this Holiday Season

2010-12-28T05:58:00.000-08:00

nope, not create any resolutions you have no plans on keeping....

Buy that Tank CD.

Tell your husbands boyfriends, girlfriends to thank me later.

The best part of For Colored girls......

2010-11-08T07:33:00.000-08:00

Was the Colored men. I don't mean their characters but the actors (Khalil Kain and Micheal (forever to be known as pretty ricki) Ealy) Did their damn thing. While I think the movie overall was a bust and won't win any accolades, there are some very poignant moments and some actors that truly astonished me with their performances.

I love love love Micheal Ealy. I can't help but to stare at him in awe but in this movie, he transcended his good looks and became a monster and in watching him I saw not a trace of that gorgeous man I have come to picture stalk.

Khalil Kain. Man where have you been since Girlfriends. His part was insane but predictable. I swear prior to a certain event occured in the movie, I called the outcome and yes I was right.

Thandie Newton. Wow. Because she really hasn't been in any serious features for a while, and those she had been in her parts are seemingly minor, one forgets or is unable to see what an acting powerhouse she is. I have to give it up to Ms. Newton. I didn't expect her to own that role in the manner that she did. Oscar material indeed.

Kimberly Elise is magnificent. I have always loved her as an actress and she continued to prove her skills here.

The Veterans: Loretta Divine, Phylicia Rashad and Whoopi were Great.
I have to give it to Tyler Perry. The casting was on POINT. I was not so in love with kerry Washington, Anika Noni Rose or Hill Harper but I'm not certain if it was the disjointed-ness of the material they recieved or if it was thier inability to really make magic.

Overall, Tyler Perry gets and F from me. I loved the book, haven't been able to see the play but the movie adaptation was horrible. The plot was slow, the doalogue was awkward, the action was predictable. Sure there were some GREAT moments but I was left feeling robbed of a true ending. I think the translation was literal and the movie adaptation failed to deliver the message the book was trying to deliver. The movie just seemed like a more mature way of male bashing when indeed this should not have been the case. Tyler Perry has the resources to do better, to be better but he is fine with maintaining the status quo. His films are awful. All of the films he's done after his original plays have seemed rush, lacked real character development, cohesion and always left a cliffhanger. Knowing this, I should have been prepared for what I got. I wasn't which seems to be the source of my discontent. I guess expecting Speilberg material from Perry is like expecting a Meryl Streep-esque performance from Beyonce. Aint gonna happen without help. This Movie did and will continue to do well not because it's a great movie but because of the cast. He will continue to gain wealth simply because he is THE only person in Hollywood who is making films where black people can see themselves (color not character) I hope that the numbers speak for themselves, that they show Hollywood that we will come out to support great movies, great stories. Movies like Soul Plane and The ticket bombed, not because us people of color don't have the discretionary income to see movies but because we already knew it was going to be stupid. Just like white people didn't go see Lady killers in droves. We reserve our right to spend money on quality. We can and do when the opportunity presents itself.

"They only want me for my Pimp Juice Whoooooo Hooooooo"

2010-11-03T11:23:00.000-07:00

More Specifically Boob Juice

i'm an advocate of breastfeeding. In fact I do believe all those moms receiving wic should be made to at least TRY breastfeeding seriously instead of simply receiving cases of that iron smelling B.S they hand out. Sure it's free for the mom receiving it but it's not like Enfamil is handing them out free. Somebody's paying for it. and before anyone thinks I'm anti-public assistance let me stop you there. I'm all for helping others but if nature gave you a perfectly good source to feed your child with and you opt not to because you dont want to do it I should be able to not pay for the feeding of said child. (yet another reason I'd never run for office. You can't say this type of ~~truth~~ without it coming back to haunt you.)

Anyway, back to my original Topic at hand
Booby Juice.
Here is a conversation I had with a new mother about breastfeeding:
Me: So you're going to breastfeed?
her: probably not, I don't like my breast being touched. It's comfortable.
Me: More uncomfortable than sitting with your legs up in the air pushing and farting at the seem time?
her: confused blank face

another conversation, same girl
me: SO you're going to breastfeed right?
her: well i'm going to try
me: (this is the point where I tried bribing her to do so)
well if you do i'll buy you the carrier.

another day, same girl

me: so you're going to keep up the breastfeeding
her: ummm, well you know i haven't been really eating well lately, like i eat alot of junkfood, i'm just not ready to really committ to that
me (what I said in my head): well you're 16, you're not really ready to be a mom but you are.
turns out I actually said it outloud. enter awkward silence.

well that was that. I knew she wasn't going to breastfeed (just like i know a girl who eats a pan of brownies doesn't really wanna lose weight ;) )
It's too easy for her not to, she knows the great ole state of NY will buy her that 15 dollar can of Enfamil if she doesn't. There's no real incentive here. Breastfeeding should be made mandatory and a lactation counselor should be made to record serious attempts. If not then you'd better figure out how you're going to pay for enfamil and all the other shit you have to buy with your food stamps instead of us giving you additional allowances for formula. We make it too easy. I do know there are instances where some women just can't breastfeed and i'm ok with that but they should just be made to try. what's that old saying, give a man a fish, he has a good dinner, teach him to fish, he has dinnder for life. Same concept.

so you've decided to breastfeed and now you've got to put up with this

so let me understand

This is OK

but this isn't?

and then i'm on the bus, there is a WOMAN standing over me, lady sitting in front of me with her infant child on her lap. At some point her child whimpers and she whips out her boob and starts feeding. woman above me looks at me like I should be disgusted at the woman who's boob is out and working in front of me. I look at her like not an issue, all the while trying to whisper on the phone what's happening. Person on the phone thinks the feeding mom should at least cover up.

like get one of these,

or these.

Um nah

1st off, it's a breast. We see ass cracks all day everyday and not too many put up a fuss about those.

2ndly, i don't eat in the dark. I know they have dark restuarants coming to a town near you but I don't. I grew up in the Pj's i need to make sure the rasin in my rasin bran is in fact a rasin.

lastly, you ever hit a sauna? would you want to sit in there for an extended period of time? I didn't think so, why would you want an infant baby to sit under some hot tent (especially on a hot day) for about 30 minutes just to eat? Should be equally ass illegal as leaving said infant child in a car in Arizona on July 15th.

Sigh...Another set of Multiples

2010-11-01T07:25:00.000-07:00

so This picture came across my feed on facebook the other day with the caption "we got to do better. Let's help our own"

is it bad that the first thing that crossed my mind was if dude got some golden showers?

anyway. I'm not feeling it. Yes I sympathize with women who aren't able to have children but that's it. When you take fertility Drugs, ESPECIALLY after Jon and Kate, Octomom, and all the others, you should know that chances of producing several viable embryos are quite high and you should also know that the chances of each of the embryos developing into fully formed human beings over the next few months is also quite high. Modern Science has come a long way. At this point someone should be doing some cost analysis here. They say it takes 500G to raise a Basic Baby. times that by 6 and you get $3,000,000 that's 3 Million Dollars (just in case those zeroes were throwing you off.) Will they even make 3 milli in their own lifetime? Probably not, I think I read their combined income was under 100g per year, now with her staying home to care for the children they will be living solely off his income and of course this is where we all come in.
Now people are anegered that this family isn't receiving the help that fairer complected families receive. Well I'm not going to delve into that debate. This blogger does if you want to read it
I'm going to tell you why I erased this news feed from my FB.

Invitro isn't free. The poor woman who can not conceive children will be stuck praying for a miracle or relegated to the neighborhood auntymommy. I don't agree with the fact that simply because Science CAN produce 600 embryos that we should implant every single one of them. Whether black or white I think the pictures and photo ops are cute but at the end of the day it was our choice. People compared this family to the duggards. Let me tell you why I don't agree with that Comparison. The Duggards are self sufficient. The dad owns shit. They've built their last two homes themselves. This was even before they had reality TV money. So i can be amsued at the antics of this family because I in no way am effected by thier choiced. Octomom had 8 Kids with the aid of fertility secrets, now that her money is dwindling and she wasn't able to cash in on the fame and unusualness of her situation she may be going on welfare. If I were a citizen of California I'd Be PISSED. Now the McGhee family will be living off one income. 8 mouths to feed 1 income, not even breaking 100g. Even i know the math. Public Assistance. Now people are outraged that "our" community isn't helping them out. Well Excuse the hell out of me, when one makes the argument that a single mother needs help everyone's all like "Oh the whore should have learned to keep her legs shut" but b/c these are multiples, this should be a special case and we should just all dole out help? This is wrong as hell. It isn't natural to conceive this many children at once and most species who can do so only know that maybe 1% percent will survive the 1st year of life. This isn't the case here.
When will we draw the line and say enough is enough?

Lets presume those are some basic ass carseats, at $89 a seat, that's $534 in that picture alone. And that's just the car ride home.

So no "We" aint gots to do better. They do.

Random $hit I think/and or Hate

2010-10-28T09:43:00.000-07:00

Warning, Profane language ahead

Long Hair Don't Care!

Yep that's the situation i'm working with right now. I want to tell you that it's that way b/c It's fall, i wear long sleeves but honestly, i haven't shave not a nare hair on my body since May of 2010. Jealous? Disgusted? Oh well don't look. I say this at the gym when i'm benchpressing and say it when i'm walking round the house in tank tops.

I hate shopping int he malls and those toy vendor people seel shit to my son. Really Mofo? After you see that I've spent more than I need to on this manchild walking in front of me, you're going to dazzle him with some damn racing car set that he just has to have? Oh and that's not good enough, after you've bagged my 10 bucks, you're going to try and sell him a damn helicopter? Kick rocks, no matter fact, sit in a rattle snake pit on a hot desert day.

I think if you've been cheated on you think Alicia Keys is a homewrecker, if you're a whore you think shit was fair game.

this is all kinds of wrong but i'm not running for office so here it goes
I think if you're on Public Assistance you should be required to be on birth control, Not the pill though, The IUD.

I think if you have to big yourself up by putting others down, you really aint shit.

I think a skinny girl who gets fat will never be happy until she gets skinny again. But said skinny fat girl will probably do nothing but lament about her jelly. Said skinny fat girl will never be fun to hang around.

I think Plan B should be free, and if child support was enforced more strictly, It probably would be free.

I think once Fantasia learns to read, she'll make better life decisions.

I think I pay about 100+ monthly for my health insurance...There should be no co-payment.

I think we should all be glad Summer's over..Here's why:

and I'm pretty much done for now.

P.S. Wanna Sneak preview into my daily conversations with an equally random ass blogger?

9:21 AM me: rocked out with my cock out
Khaki: ewww
lol
9:22 AM me: dragged it on the floor too
Khaki: how was your date with stinky breath boy
me: ewww is all i can say
Khaki: just like you to say you have a big dick
LMAO
you shouldnt have even went

and that's not even a classic

No wedding, No womb

2010-10-05T12:31:00.000-07:00

I read about The No Wedding, No womb day prior the actual event. My initial reaction was filled with skepticism but I thought it best to reserve judgment until the actual day had passed and I can read some of the literature created for this specific event.

Well the time has come for me to weigh in.

HATED IT.

While I agree that unplanned out of wedlock births are far to common these days, I do not agree with this half-hearted attempt put for by an author and PR professional who "has an uncanny talent for finding timely news angles to give her clients maximum exposure."

This "movement", is nothing more than a catchy alliterative slogan with a theme song, meant to garner buzz. There is no action, simply buzz words and "proof" of more damnation of children on behalf of the loose wombed woman.
I need more than words. Where are the links to various agencies country-wide where one can find mentors for at risked young women? Where are the Parenting or relationship classes? Where is anything of use to someone who may believe in the idea who wants to do more than just walk the walk?
To the founder's credit, she is currently in the process of reaching out to various charities and agencies. (This should have been done prior to the publication of the actual day IMO)
Maryanne Reid, like the founder of NWNW, used her own personal chaos as the catalyst for "Marry Your baby Daddy Day" not only publicly stated her belief in the stability marriages creates but also physically championed for it by asking various wedding vendors to donate towards an event that would allow 10 couples with children to marry for free. The first 10 couple were married in Brooklyn in 2005. Every year couples and even children of the couples can nominate themselves or their parents for inclusion in these ceremonies, however, this idea became a movement of it's own with other couples, not associated with the Official contest choosing to get hitched. While I applaud Reid, I still take issue with the name of the event. For one I absoultely detest the phrases Baby Daddy and Baby Momma and secondly I am a disturbed that while Reid acknowledges the parents of the children are a collective parenting unit, the title seems to emphasize the mother rather than the father or both. The title could have easily been, marry your baby's momma (if she absolutely had to go with the collquial term) or marry your child's other parent day. I suppose she would have had to battle against the myth of the baby momma had she used the former. Although she states that she uses the term baby daddy to speak to the younger often less educated person who may be in a cohabitation situation. Still the phrase could have easily been marry your baby momma especially since she notes that the majority of the applicants are men who are eager to marry the woman who bore their child(ren).

The No Wedding No womb (in)movement lacks action and it is also my opinion that the title and entire movement is yet another way to blame women for society's issues. No wedding No womb is obviously targeting women, asking them to deman marriage prior to birthing children to ensure our children have the best opportunities. While I certainly believe marriage should be done first, I don't believe marriage single handedly erases all problems that could possibly be faced by children.

Secondly, The movement seems to also take aim at single mothers but not all singly mothers inclusively. Not the ones whose husband has died or divorced them and certainly not the cohabitating couple, nope, just the stereotypical drama having baby momma with the father with very little or no involvement. This is my core issue with the so called movement. Rather than focus on the absentee father, they focus on the single mother? The one living up to her title as a parent? How can one quote statistics about children living in single parent homes and not ask where the other parent is?
I get the personal responsibility aspect of it and applaud the idea of diseminating encouraging materials to women of child bearing age to demand respect and choose quality men, however, it must be noted that the founder, Christelyn D. Karazin, did have a child while unwed and the father of her child decided to not support her or the child. A few of the women who have had their work submitted to the official NWNW site recounted stories of being one ovulation cycle away from being the same single mothers and irresponsible women they preach to so the preachy better than thou attitude that seems to be had by some of the proponents of this movement seem quite hypocritical. I doubt they'd still be singing the theme song had that ept test come back with the positive sign.

So all in all I agree that something should be done and at best this "movement" gets the discussion started. Maybe they'll be more prepared next year?
Let's hope.

that hair thing again

2010-08-26T11:54:00.000-07:00

After going through the screening process for my son to get into this school which boasts state of the art computer equipment, music lessons on everything from the xylophones to violas and ballroom dance classes plus an extraordinary academic curriculum all for the low price of 375 per month I was left to ask what's the catch....

In the rule book, on appearances it states, Boy can not wear braids, twists, dreadlocks....or anything other hairstyle we deem inappropriate. I think the principal read that line at the same time I did because as soon as I looked her up, her next question was: will that be a problem?

Deep sigh, so i must choose between cutting his hair and his academic future. Why is this even an issue?
My decision would be to just throw a ponytail in his hair. I really don't feel like cutting his hair, not just yet, i've made an appointment before and punked out and I certainly don't like the idea of SOMEONE else telling me what to do with my child's hair.
This should be simpler as it is my son's future at stake (yeah it's that drastic, he's already got a few strikes against him) but it isn't.

I'd like to inquire about the legality of such regulations. I mean they're already forcing catholicism on all attendees, and while i'm not all the okay with that i can bear with it but the hair thing is really bothering me.
The saddest part is, there is NO equivalent program in NY for him to attend in lieu of this excellent opportunity. Well not within my price range.
It's times like this that really frustrate me about his father not helping. It's not hurting me, it hurts his child. I wish more parents would see that.

Anyway just venting. Seems like everywhere I go there's a hair issue. Maybe my son and I will both rock an Amber Rose.

I'll tell you why Black women have low self esteem

2010-08-24T11:27:00.000-07:00

* I post this picture not to make fun of the girl but to highlight her courageousness. Lord knows everyone under the sun had something negative to say about her makup choices.

And it doesn't have anything to do with white Media or Beyonce

It's because Black women can not just be. Black women are told(not by white media because honestly they don't give 2 craps how black women look,) by other black people what they should look like, how they should dress and wear their hair if they want to be a card carrying sista.

I ran across a blog where the post of the day is
Are black noses the new natural hair?

Another decade, another black feature to alter?
Plastic surgery is on the rise among black women. According to statistics released by the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, in 2009 roughly 986,000 African-American women underwent cosmetic surgery compared to about 950,000 in 2008. The top three surgical procedures: liposuction, nose reshaping, and breast reduction.

Given black women’s propensity for full breasts and behinds, the liposuction and breast reductions are somewhat understandable. Tiffany Hamm, a 22-year-old, 5′ 0″ natural tells BGLH that, at the rate her breasts were growing, she had no choice but to go under the knife;

“My bra size was a G!! Even with exercise, I would have been looking at a triple D bra. So now, after my reduction, I can do chest exercises and hope to go from a regular 34 D to a C with time! I don’t understand why people want bigger breasts. Even D’s are tedious to carry around.”

But any remedial effects of nose reshapings are less clear. Like relaxers, they seem to be an attempt to alter a feature that is identifiably African.

So what do you think? Are broad noses the new natural hair? Are nose reshapings the new relaxer? And why does it seem to be so difficult for us to embrace our own aesthetic?

my initial reaction is oh, must be a slow growth day, but she's serious. Even used an anecdotal example of a woman's personal and complicated relationship with her large breasts as part of her research on the whole plastic surgery trend.

I'm offended by the idea that liposuction can be excused as a necessary surgery. Certainly one would be remiss to to neglect mentioning the possible fatal implications of liposcutions and tummy tucks. I understand the need for breast reductions surgeries but women of all colors have large breast issues so i'm less likely to contain this challenge within a particular race. Secondly, one has to see the term plastic surgery as all encompassing. How many women have breast reductions because it is medically suggested? How many of those women would have wanted to keep their full bust sizes? Clearly for some, that procedure is not exactly voluntary, similarly, to what extent are the nasal procedures mentioned requirements? Rhinoplasty also includes changing the internal structure of the nose for health reasons.
thirdly, even if they aren't requirements, why does the black woman have to be visiting the plastic surgeon to look less ethnic? When white women do it what are they trying to do? Why can't black women be equally as upset as their white counterparts with the bump on their nose and just want to get rid of it as well? It seems highly ridiculous that one can take a look at a group of numbers and explain them away as simply being another way black women choose to rid themselves of their ethnic features.

Jill Scott, known for her signature natural tresses was recently seen wearing a press and go, or perhaps even a perm. The natural hair community was up in arms. "How dare she straighten her hair, why would she want to ascribe to the european ideal of beauty?" Are you kidding me? I doubt Jill Scott thinks pressing her hair makes her less ethnic.

Solange wears a kinky weave, half the natural hair community think she's a traitor because she should be happy sporting her teeny weeny afro. Seems like solange can't win for losing. She isn't natural enough.

I think it's utterly pathethic that we continue to ascribe to the idea of having an ethnic look. I expect that from outsiders, not from members of that particular race who should know by now that we come in varying shapes and sizes. It's absurd and quite frankly places more pressure upon women of color to do various things to fit in or prove their blackness. While i do understand there are women who suffer from color issues, I don't think it's fair to use those few women as spokewomen for reasons black women undergo plastic surgery.

On being Naive

2010-08-19T08:06:00.000-07:00

Being Naive has pitfalls and benefits. I've said before it enabled the dysfunctional relationship between myself and my child's father. Having that experience made me view being naive negatively, however, I don't think it's that bad.

I interviewed for a job with an agency that primarily deals with young women between the ages of 16-25 who were prostitutes or were heavily involved in the street life. I was posed the following question: What would your advice be to one of the girls who was raped. I answered, I'd ask to accompany her to file charges. I was countered with, what if the woman doesn't want to file charges. I said, my answer would be completely dependent on her reason of why she didn't file charges. The lady explained that not many of the girls trust police officers as some of them have been victimized by male members of law enforcement. I didn't get that job. I have no answer for that. While I know law enforcment officials routinely violate the public trust, I still very much hold a positive view of them, positive enough that hearing that shocked the hell out of me.

Recently, I've took to mentoring a 16 year old mother to be. I began reaching out to her because I felt she was being set up to fail. 16, last grade completed was 7th grade. She is 7 months pregnant and there is no real plan as to what will happen when this child is born. It's upsetting, but what's even more upsetting is the negligence surrounding this child.

I asked her whether she had ever been molested, she answered what does that mean? I can't even fathom how a 16 year old girl doesn't know the meaning of the word molest. That word unfortunately is part of a women's rite of passage. She began to tell me the story about how her grandmother's boyfriend would touch her inappropriately and would lay her down on the same bed he did unspeakable things with her grandmother and lie on top of her. This guy is now in jail for molesting his daughter. I asked her aunt whether anyone spoke to her or her sister after this guy was convicted, she said no. Apparentely he says his daughter's mother is lying on him and he is trying ot appeal the conviction, but the kicker is, if he gets released, he would be living with them again.
I told her that she needs to tell both her mother and grandmother of the incident. She said she wouldn't feel comfortablt doing that and asked that I do it. SO i called her mother and explained the situation. Her mother was upset that she never told anyone what happened and also said that her daughter tends to lie. I stated I believed her, that although I don't know her as well as she does, that the guy was a dirtbag and had said some pretty slick stuff to me in passing. I also stated that her daughter told me it really upsets her that her grandmother still talks to this guy everynight. She said well that is something she should take up with her grandmother. That saddened me. If I were her mother my next step would be to take my daughter and talk to my mother abuot her good for nothing Raping and molesting boyfriend. We would be doing it together.
Her grandmother spoke to her about the situtaion, asked why she never told her and said that she would talk to him about it when they next spoke.
That enraged me. I feel as though I'm the only person pissed the hell off and she is no damn kin of mine. Does the grandmother really think this convicted child molester is going to say Yes i molested your grand daughter, i hope you can forgive me so when i get out i can still move in with you. Absolutely not.
Dealing with this situation is mentally draining. I just can't understand how people can be so nonchalant with their children.
Really, it's no wonder that she is pregnant....by a damn 25 year old who had the nerve to ask me how to spell the word DRILL. (want to know why i didn't call the cops on THAT rapist...that's another post for another day)

This was my longwinded way of saying, If by being sheltered from the evils of society caused me to be a little too naive, i'm okay with that b/c i'm staring at the alternative. I would say a lot more people should have my type of blissfully ignorant childhood than grow up in homes where molestors are given free access to them.

2010-08-18T16:29:00.001-07:00

God created me for you.... The devil gave her a bigger booty

Yeah so about that 30 day challenge....

2010-08-13T11:03:00.000-07:00

Looked good on paper, not so much in reality. I've quit. I'll continue to read other people's answers and wish I had the will power to stick with it.

I did want to to the one about beliefs so here it is

I believe:
in God
in fate
in karma: also think i've got a LOT of bad Karma around me, something I further allowed myself to contribute to by trying to aid a fellow blogger on her quest. I will not name the specifics of said quest however i think we both know we're copassengers on a flight to hell.

In Love
I do think true love exists, I just believe we're too impatient

that freshly baked peanut butter cookies and a tall glass of cold (WHOLE) milk is better than sex

That I will be successful
that my own worse enemy is me
second to that is fear

That I am a good friend, sister, daughter but my shortcomings make me a mediocre mother.

in forgiveness, although I'm a taurus and while I forgive I don't forget and sometimes that may be seen as not forgiving.

that kingston is thee most handsome and most smart and curious and musically inclined and mature child I know. I also believe every mother says this about their child but i know for a fact mine is true.

that king will be taller than me in 4 years

that apologies open door like you'd never believe

that i will get married and have a happily ever after

in me. and King

Day 5: What you ate Today

2010-08-09T09:14:00.000-07:00

It's 12:13 pm. I've only had breakfast and a snack
I had Oatmeal and a peach

Day 3: Your Parents

2010-08-05T17:06:00.000-07:00

My parents.....
It's a love hate relationship
The end....

ok but seriously

they've been married since 1981. both were in the armed forces. I love them they love me. they love Kingston more though
that's the true story and that's pretty much all I have to say on this topic.
see you tomorrow

oh yeah, I will forever be grateful to my father for doing testosterone shit with my son.
seriously as much as I say i'm an open book, i'm really not and this is one of those topics that I placed in that sealed chapter of my life.

Day 2: Your First Love

2010-08-04T12:30:00.000-07:00

Through the Magic of WordUp! I can safely say my first love was none other than Ray-J. It was a natural progression for me since I was so in love with his sister. not that kind of love? ok here's the real story.

I could try and act like 7 years of my life didn't exist and say my first love is my son. That wouldn't be the entire truth. I was madly in love with his father, I just never really thought long enough about it to realize that the love wasn't reciprocated.

Back when I was 16, I was at my track and field practice when I met him. That year, two new guys were "recruited" for my basketball team. One was the obvious groupie favorite. The other was this tall scrawny thing that I just thought was so cute. Anyway at practice, he kept trying to talk to me, and I ignored him. I took that seriouisly, shoot, you couldn't tell me I wasn't going to be the next Jackie Joyner Kersee. This went on for a couple of weeks, even professing that I was going to be his wife. November 17th rolled around and I leaned over to his desk in english and whispered Happy Birthday. He nodded his head and went back to work, leaving me dumbfounded. How rude. Well of course that piqued my interest. So i called him that evening to let him know how much i didn't appreciate being ignored and one thing led to another and we began talking about other things.

We made it official December 6th, 2000. I really hadn't had ~~any~~ many boyfriends prior to this and i suppose that was a major factor in how I allowed so much nonsense to go unchecked. (It's hard to tell this story in a way where you'd see the charm I saw back before my bubble burst and I'll try to be as nostaligic as I can but I don't think it will work.)
We were suppoosed to stay "on the low" because his father worked in the school and he wasn't supposed to have a girlfriend. So we did until i told a few of my friends who told others and the happy news happened to reach a girl who was friends with his current girlfriend, and then another girl who wanted to date him. I was angry and confronted him about it, he denied it and all was good.
There is no way to really describe a man who proclaimed to be someone else so I will stop the recounting of the relationship here. I can say that for 7 years, I loved this man and professed to be with this man for the rest of my life and at the time I conceived my son, though, we were on the downside of our "great story" I still can tell my son how much I loved his father and thought our family would work.
It's still pretty painful for me to even think about this stage in my life without getting teary eyed or angry. There are times when I am nostalgic and whip out my shoe box of remnanants and think this is what i fought for, the letters, the cards, the sweetness of his humanity that shined through his selfishness. Those are the times I wanted back, but those moments were also few and far between and I realized that I stayed in that relationship far too long. I try not to regret it because leaving "on time" would mean my munchkins wouldn't exist. it's hard to look back and realize how wrong I was, how stupid I was, how blindly in love I was.
Anyway That was My first Love, as much as I wanted that grow old my first is my only love, it won't be. I've since been in love with another who loves me back unconditionally...unless I tell him he can't watch the mickey mouse club. Hopefully I can add another love to my list one day when I'm receptive, but for now, i'm more than content with the love I have for and receive from my child. I think its pathetic at times but it is what it is. I wouldn't change that.

First Day: Introduce yourself

2010-08-03T13:43:00.000-07:00

Well i like many of my fellow bloggers will be participating in the 30 day blog challenge.
so here's day 1

my name is Kingsmomma, though I suppose if you followed me on twitter in my heyday or even read between the lines in this blog you may know my real name.

I'm 5 foot 4 and a quarter inches, not quite 5 5 with brown eyes but have a smile like the sunrise.
I graduated from Hunter College with a degree in sociology. I got waitlisted at pretty much every Law School I applied to..makes me rethink my master plan. I've spent the last few weeks soul searching and i'm liking where my mind is taking me. I won't speak it here or to anyone but I've already spoken it to the Universe. the rest is up to God and my Drive.

I'm a hopeless romantic with a brain which only means i'm in love with the idea of being in love but smart enough to know how problematic that can be.

I am an introvert. I'd rather read and observe people in their surroundings. I can probably sit around and watch you for Hours and be entertained. I'd also rather make it a blockbuster and trojan night...

I have 2 sisters and we all look alike, I'm the middle child and although i am probably the lightest, I always labeled myself the "Darker Child" <--Langston Hughes.I am the mother to thee greatest 3 year old. I'm happy and feel blessed but it is also a source of internal conflict. rrrtrds <--- that was him typing.These types of questions always make me ramble on and on about nothing so i think I'll stop this here.

the sands of time

2010-08-01T14:11:00.000-07:00

It seemed like yesterday that i was cowering in the bathroom stall praying the little wand would tell me that I was free to go, to continue being the immature and selfish nonchalant girl the world became accustomed to. I think we both know which way that turned out but as you also know, I wasn't angry. Took some time for me to adjust to the idea that my money would no longer be spent on frivalous items. 9 months to be exact but the moment you made your entrance (all dramatic might i add) I knew I made the correct choice.

i love you like no other, even when you spew vomit on my freshly made sheets or on my clothes ten minutes before I plan to leave the house.
You've been my reason for living for the past three years and yes Im fully aware of how painfully sad and pathetic it sounds and I intend to make different choices so you and I can live more comfortably and you have all that you want and all that I know you deserve.
you've grown inmmensly in the past 3 years and I'm so glad God has blessed me with the opportunity to develop your mind and spirit. I hope that I can continue to make you proud. Our days will not be easy, I am certain of that but as long as i breathe, as long as there is that rise and fall in my chest, know that you have a superwoman on your side. I will try my best and I hope and pray that its good enough.
I love you, my little (not so little ) munchkin and I hope you enjoyed every bit of the day i planned for you.

Happy Birthday
Love always
and I mean through thick and thin, ups and downs
i will always love you.
Happy birthday
love mommy

p.s. all that attitude has got to go!

God is Good

2010-07-27T06:31:00.000-07:00

toddler survives hook through the brain. Click here for the story

How much are your cookies worth?

2010-07-26T06:57:00.000-07:00

Was the question I ended up asking my mother. DOn't really know how we ended up on this topic but our family discussion turned to that Kobe Bryant Rape case.
We concluded that Kobe paid this girl off and I said there's no way she got as much as she should have. So my mom said she got something, I gave her that perplexed look and asked her how much she would have asked for.
She said....

2 Million Dollars.

(insert record scratch here)
Me: Ma, this man raped you and all you would want is 2 million dollars?
Ma: well that's better than nothing
me: ma, he spent like 4 million on his infamous sorry ring.
So she asked me how much I would ask for
I said we'd start negoitations at 500 million bucks.
She started laughing
So i had to break it down to her,
He had nike endorsements, nutella endorsements, Sprite endorsements. All those endorsements paid him prior to the act, that money was in his account. Now onto his NBA contract. I don't remember how much he signed for but I know it was a helluva alot of money. Now I know I'm not going to get 500 million but i'm coming to the table with that large number.
I'd sit at thet table with a stoic face, next to my lawyer saying everytime i see his face, I cry, I need therapy and all that jazz. My mother finally reconsidered and said ok ok, Well maybe 10 million dollars.
WHAAAT MA?
Clearly nothing I just said go through to her.
So then we hopped on to the next item on the list. Reggie Wayne.
Called the FBI for fradulent charges on his credit card, have the FBI raid Natasha McKenzie's home and freeze her assets only to find out Natasha may have been his mistress. She's suing both the FBI and Reggie Wayne.
My mother said she'd better not ask for less than 50 million dollars because they broke down her door.
Ma?
You'd ask for more money for a broken door than someone raping you? Your cookies are that low budget?

So Chad Johnson prefers non black women

2010-07-23T10:00:00.000-07:00

What's the problem?
I've been hearing this for the last couple of weeks. What's the problem? Are we upset that Ryan Seacrest has never been seen cozying up to a sister?
Im going to say this,
people really only get upset at Black athletes and moguls who date non-black women not because of the whole Betrayal thing but because it's official that you are no longer in the running to receive their money.
I'm not saying all black women are gold Diggers. Not at all
but these atheletes don't owe our race anything. People say that the athletes "traded up" when they got money. I disagree.

I think alot of people's preference result from your surroundings and exposure. For alot of these athletes, it isn't until they are older and signed (read: have money) that they are exposed to different cultures. If a black man chooses to marry a non-black woman, I could care less. As a mom, I would want my child to be happy. I would love for him to fall in love and marry a black woman and have beautiful black babies with the kinkiest of hair but if he chooses not to then I'll be ok with that as well (and pray that she knows or learns to braid)

with that said, the real reason I could give a rat's sphinter about Chad's preference for white women is because I too have a specific type. The one kinda man known to induce floodings in my netherregions.

and finally my type in real life

Yeah that's right, I like em Tall Dark and Scrawny. I make no apologies about it and should I become famous, I still wouldn't (of course i would make a few exceptions to this list)

We need to get past being angry at black men for not choosing to date black women or vocally expressing that they have a preference. You have one too. You like what you like
Get over it

Update on the workout

2010-07-22T08:57:00.000-07:00

So I posted the Day one a few weeks ago. I've been good, but I had to start from scratch after missing a week.

In my mini workout group, I'm the captain/trainer. we do things on my count at my speed and let me tell you that I don't slack when it comes to working out. I'm a pusher. I push past the shin splints, the aches and out of breathedness b/c i've got blinders on. I'm looking to find my abs and toned thighs under the layer of fat I've piled on.
I hit each workout with 110%
so why is it that my workout partner has lost 1 pant size and i've barely freaking budged?
I'm trying to continue being happy for her but inside my oh that's great is a big "what teh heck am i doing wrong"

She is bigger than me and I know the initial weight comes off like sweat until they plateau but i refuse to believe that I'm at the plateau stage.
This leads me to think that I need to diet :(
I absolutely hate dieting and portion control but not more than I hate looking at my thighs or picking the material from between my legs when i wear shorts or that swishing of the thigh meat rubbing together.
I've already changing my habits but it doesn't seem to be enough. So i guess I'll be dieting.
The next month I will be one cranky momma...

P.S. I need some new workout songs....right now I'm blasting Work by Ciara, Ludacris and watch out for the big girls and the perculator. I'm getting bored though, what do you listen to while working it out?

Lyrical stupidity?

2010-07-21T08:48:00.000-07:00

Before I say this, Let me put up this disclaimer:
I'm well aware many songs are made to showcase a beat. I think Nicki Minaj's popularity has shown that for the most part, It doesn't really matter what you have to say as long as the beat sounds good, But some songs just really really make me back it up and rewind (note because I already know about 99.99 percent of Nicki Minaj's lyrics are nursery rhymes with a Triple X spin, I'm leaving her out of this one)

(Re?)invented sex remix
Keri Hilson takes the tracks and spits the following:
I'm bout to re-invent sex
Keri got em like who's next?

Perplexed, I heard that line and said, either she's whack or she's loose.
Either you got em like who's next as in you just finished one and you're on some bang 50 dudes in a day type of thing or you're a kim kardashian type layer and you got dude like whose next. Either premise wouldn't make some dude think you re-invented Sex. Try again

Thanks to the IPOD i heard my old school jammy jam.
Mase Ft Monifah
I need to be

That was my Jam back in Junior High School (and I know I wasn't the only one dry moaning along with Monifah to this song) The entire song is funny as all hell but the intro takes the cake

Yo Carl man, come here, lemme school you to some shit
Yo what up dud
Remember that girl you said was nineteen somethin'
Yeah I remember that shorty
She was not nineteen
Word! Yes she is she nineteen
Nigga I followed her to school that's how I know
Nigga I followed her to school you know I don't be into that
Dog, dog, she showed me some ID bee word up
Niggaz got to jail for that
Lot a niggaz go to jail
See you not a regular nigga right there,
I know I know
Her friend ain't wanna give me the pussy,You wanna know what that bitch said to me
What happened?

Wait Wait Wait Mase, on the one hand, you're looking out for your homeboy (good looking fam) letting him know he's getting his R.Kelly on but by the end of the conversation, you're admitting YOUR OWN jail bait status. Now that I'm older I listen to the lyrics and think he is reflecting on his own tales as a misguided male youth, but the more I listen to the lyrics it seems to come from the "here and now" perspective.
Anyway He goes on to slow mumble some classic quotable fuckery.

"So tommorrow I use that pressure to undress her
But the more I caress her, more I feel like a molester"

"A nigga like me, I have a girl head in a daze
And I never eat pussy cuz I'm too stubborn in my ways, come on"

but Mase this isn't cohesive. You completly contradicted yuorself by saying this:

"Then if she give my dick a kiss, probably give her clit a kiss."

Here's your plate dude, You know you eat breakfast in bed. Cut it out

best line of all in my 13 year old mind?

If she make my nuts itch, I kill that slut bitch

the feminist in my wants to make an appearance but the 13 year old girl in me makes megiggle everytime I hear that line.

Who and what are some of your worst offenders? (Nicki Minaj Excluded, her entire career is comprised of lyrical blunders)

My Kind of Roses......

2010-07-19T12:56:00.000-07:00

yep, that's bacon. Ingenius or high cholesterol heaven?
*SN This would guarentee great gratitious sex for my partner

This pic and the following were taken from the website This is Why You're Fat

9 different layers, 9 different cakes: cookie cake, cheesecake fudge cake, birthday cake, chocolate cake, pound cake, ice cream cake, cup cake, crab cakes.

Pulled Pork & Mashed Potato Parfait

and yes that KFC double down and that Carl Jr's foot long cheese burger make appearances. (rightfully so)

Video Flashback

2010-07-16T13:29:00.000-07:00

Thanks to the powers of Ipod I reheard this song the other day and been jammin to it ever since.

and I hear K-Ci and JoJo are mkaing a comeback?

Please tell me that is not spit flying out JoJO's mouth at the 4:17 mark.

My Pen Be Like.....

2010-07-15T07:33:00.000-07:00

So I'm over at Rainbowlens and saw the app "I write Like" which is an app that anaylzes your writing technique and tells which author you most resemble, technique wise.
She got Margaret Atwood and she's all AIIIIGHT about her choice cuz it means she's all intellectual and ish So I'm all excited ready to go figure out my Toni Morrison Roots.

SO I copy and paste some text in there and BAM

I write like H.P. Lovecraft.

This may expose my limited exposure but I'm all Like who the eff is that. Google Time,
Wiki Comes back with the following

"Howard Phillips Lovecraft (August 20, 1890 – March 15, 1937) was an American author of horror, fantasy, and science fiction, especially the subgenre known as weird fiction."

Lovecraft's guiding literary principle was what he termed "cosmicism" or "cosmic horror", the idea that life is incomprehensible to human minds and that the universe is fundamentally alien.

Well I think I can agree to some extent of this but not enough for this to be MY writer.
SO Copy and Paste and Presto

David Foster Wallace

again. I have no clue who he is. (Note to self, expand your horizon) so Wiki Tells me the following

"Los Angeles Times book editor David Ulin called Wallace "one of the most influential and innovative writers of the last 20 years."
Now I'm like thats a little better. I can work with that
Wiki Also showed me thsi tid bit that I found to be amazing

"According to Wallace, "fiction’s about what it is to be a fucking human being," and he expressed a desire to write "morally passionate, passionately moral fiction" that could help readers "become less alone inside"

How awesome is that quote, and how much more awesome is it that he wrote the quote in an essay about one of my favorite authors Fyodor Dostoyevsky.
I'm at ease with that but I figured, what the hell, 3rd times a charm right?
Copy, Paste, Boom

Dan Brown- Now this one I know thanks to my mother.
The author of The Davinic Code and other like books. The fact that we both stir controversy is probably where our similarities end.

I did this about 5 more times and got the same Answer each time. David Foster Wallace.

click here to try it

Race Matters: The Black Booty thing

2010-07-15T07:03:00.000-07:00

Lately I found myself thinking of how complexed race notions are within a said race. Of course I've been thinking about it from my viewpoint as a black woman and mother of a black son.
I 'm a bit all of the place with this so I'm going to split it up amongst different posts.

Yesterday, I was reading the fashion Bomb and they had an article posted about Hollywood's new found appreciation of big booties.

The article itself was redundant. It repeated the notion that big butts on a black woman is overlooked and on a non black woman it is praised. Anytime a woman of non-color or of "acceptable color" is well endowed in the rear parts, hollywood embraces the booty, when it's a black women, she really is only the body part. Remember the rage about J-Lo's booty?

It was the comments that really got to me. While I understand everyone was disgusted at the idea that big booties are "suddenly in" they seemed to perpetuate the idea that as a black woman you must have a big ol big ol butt.

I may joke about it alot but this whole butt thing as been a serious point of contention for me for several years and still is to some extent. I seriously thought it was a right of passage for black women. Much like I excitedly ran to camp every year thinking "this is going to be the year" i grew taller, I looked at my butt saying now I know it's going to pop out one of these days. I just know it. I grew up watching television shows where the women all had ample booties, I thought certainly my time will come. I watched Laura Winslow get hers, watched Regina, Levita, Pam and Gina strut theirs, hell even Lisa Turtle had one. I just knew Kingsmomma was going to get one too. Well I didn't and it affected me deeply.To the point that I remember thinking maybe I'll get butt implants, researched Butt injections (this is before they were popular) and yes even succumbed to buying a butt pad. I was always surrounded around women with big butts and men who loved women with big asses and here I am this gangly girl. Where did I fit in? To this day I will still ask when I'm trying on clothes, does this make my butt look big/flat?

I think that while people may suggest black people suffer from self esteem issues because our image is not widely accepted by society, I would contend that our own image of what it means to be black afflicts more damage than any other outlet. Not all black women have big butts and it doesn't mean they are any less black. It took me a long time to come to grips with that Idea.

Versatile Blogger Award

2010-07-14T09:42:00.000-07:00

Well the mother of one of thee most gorgeous babies ever, Ms. Mary Mack, has awarded me with the Versatile Blogger award.
I'm supposed to give 7 Random facts
and then tag some other people
here are my 7 Random facts

7. I chew my food 2x before swallowing. Taste better that way
6. I have a natural hair blog.(who doesn't) Look over there >
5. I wrote 5 chapters of a book on my blackberry. Was good. My blackberry crashed. was not so good. Back to the starting line
4. I can not sleep under a blanket with pants or socks. Impossible for me....unless i'm Drunk
3. 3 years later, I still lactate. It's more noticable in the breast with the nip peircing.
2.when I'm tired I'm either really giggly or a biatch. Look at the picture I sent my sister the other night

the text said: put your cup in the dang sink. You aint got no maids up in here. Insert neckroll

1. I am extremely pigeon toed. Like i'm sure my parents should be arrested for neglect for ignoring this when I was younger.
Bonus, i have a hard time saying words that begin with an S after saying a word that began with an s.

shit stinks =shit schtinks.

and I tag (only doing 5)
Khaki
Mo
JazzyJaz
Dave- b/c he needs the prodding to post
and
Alana

2010-07-13T06:02:00.001-07:00

"My love what did I do

To make you fall

away from me?"

Cooking With Kingsmomma: The best No Bake 'Nana Pudding

2010-07-08T09:42:00.000-07:00

There are somethings I just don't eat if I don't make myself. Right under Potato Salad is Banana Pudding. I thought it was Blasphemy when my uncle put Splenda in Banana Pudding so imagine my surprise to learn that most people use instant jello pudding mix to make Banana Pudding.

What the fudgecakes?

Well I happened upon some Banana Pudding from Magnolia's Bakery

Now I'm biased because this is thee only no bake banana pudding I've ever tasted but damn if it wasn't the best. Now this isn't as good as some good ol' piping hot fresh out the oven banana pudding but it hits the spot nonetheless.

Well don't take it from me, Try it yourself

This recipe is courtesy of Magnolia's cookbook. I guess she knows people are lazy and will continue to patronize her stores even if the recipe is disclosed.

1 (14-ounce) can sweetened condensed milk
1 1/2 cups ice cold water
1 (3.4-ounce) package instant vanilla pudding mix (preferably Jell-O brand)
3 cups heavy cream
1 (12-ounce) box Nabisco Nilla Wafers (no substitutions!)**
4 cups sliced ripe bananas (I used 6)

In a small bowl, on the medium speed of an electric mixer, beat together the sweetened condensed milk and water until well combined, about 1 minute. Add the pudding mix and beat well, about 2 minutes more. Cover and refrigerate for 3-4 hours or overnight, before continuing. It is very important to allow the proper amount of time for the pudding mixture to set.

In a large bowl, on the medium speed of an electric mixer, whip the heavy cream until stiff peaks form. Gently fold the pudding mixture into the whipped cream until well blended and no streaks of pudding remain.

To assemble the dessert, select a large, wide bowl (preferably glass) with a 4-5-quart capacity. Arrange one-third of the wafers to cover the bottom of the bowl, overlapping if necessary, then one-third of the bananas and one-third of the pudding. Repeat the layering twice more, garnishing with additional wafers or wafer crumbs on the top layer of the pudding. Cover tightly with plastic wrap and allow to chill in the refrigerator for 4 hours - or up to 8 hours, but no longer! - before serving.

I was skeptical when I was making it because I couldn't see how the crackers would moisten. It also didn't seem like the pudding seeped down enough so I ended up using a knife to help the process along before the final refrigeration. The crackers did get nice and soft, not soggy. This recipe is great. Each mouthful pleased my inner fat chick immensly. Because it uses Vanilla Pudding you don't get that fake banana taste. The Banana flavoring comes from the actual bananas whose taste seems to just seep into it's surroundings. Definite must for anyone looking to have Nana Pudding without heating an already overheated house. It's easy to make but the preparation time is absurd, but good things are worth the wait. Probably wouldn't make this in the winter time but it's great for summer and a hit at BBQ's.

***listen none of that no fat, low sodium nonsense. This is an indulgence. Experience it as it is meant to be. Eat one spoonful if you must but I must warn you, one spoonful is all it takes

Child Porn, Facebook and Common Sense

2010-07-07T10:21:00.000-07:00

Something happened this weekend that left me utterly perplexed.

I was at home watching Percy Jackson with my family and Bajan. At some point (when it became quiet) Bajan says : Oh yeah and if you get some video, don't forward it to me.

I'm interested so I look at my sister and back at him and say what type of video?

He said (as my father listens along) i'm not going to tell you, you'll know it if you see it.

Now knowing Bajan and his group of friends, i'm thinking it's some kind of porn, or borerline homo funny youtub video. Thinking i'm in fro a good chuckle I continue..

me: Come on, tell me what kind of video

he relents....Wait for it, wait for it.....

Well its Child Porn

Insert George Bush Face

Huh??

A slew of questions gathered in my mind
Why would I send Child Porn?
Why would a friend of mine forward me Child Porn?
Why are we even talking about this?

I literally stood there for about a minute with that high pitched sound coming out my mouth (think Whoopi Goldberg in Cinderella) b/c I couldn't form a sentence. Perplexed I was.

I was reading the newspaper on Sunday and apparently said video was removed from all servers nationwide. Read on it here

Talking to my co-workers I realized this video went viral, being posted on Facebook, twitter and such.
I think everyone who engaged in spreading that shit should be arrested and charged with the distribution of child pornography. There is nothing cute or funny about watching a young boy perform sex acts on a grown woman, or anyone for that matter. They should all be made to register as sex offenders, perhaps then they would realize that you should use discretion and common sense when disseminating material on the web. If we are going after teenagers for sexting we need to take aim as pitiful adults forwarding child pornography under the guise of hilarity or extremity.

I don't get it

2010-07-07T06:17:00.000-07:00

What's with all This Lebron Talk. For the past couple of weeks I felt like I've been held hostage with all this Free agency stuff.

It wouldn't even be all that bad if it weren't almost exclusively about Lebron James.
I don't get all the Hype. He don't even got a ring. <--yup indignantly said and all. all this james talk is taking away from the important stuff, like will ray Allen still be a celtic or will I have to buy new team gear (actually think I may continue to root for the celtics as long as Rondo's still playing.) and then an hour long show about his choice.
Yo Twitter that shit and be done with it.

But You'll Phuck Him?

2010-07-01T11:22:00.000-07:00

A few months ago, the blogs and press were abuzz with the revelation that
Zulekha Haywood, Daughter of Supermodel Iman, underwent Gastric Bypass.
That part didn't bother me. Here's what concerned me

"When Eric used to spend the night, I’d tell him to shower while I made the bed and put on coffee. “The hot water’s tricky sometimes,” I’d assure him, flashing him a smile.
But the plumbing in my building was fine. The truth: At 330 pounds, I had developed heel spurs and swollen knees that made it excruciatingly painful to stand up after lying down for eight hours, so getting out of bed was always an orchestrated event. I’d send any man who slept over off to shower, and once the coast was clear, I’d swing my legs out and put my feet on the ground gingerly, allowing the blood to return to my feet and legs. After a minute, I could stand. After another minute, I was comfortable enough to start walking."

I knew a girl who had issues with constipation which at point led to hemmrhoids. Said girl went to her boyfriend's house for a sex filled weekend. Said girl ate and sadly said girl spent the whole weekend holding her shit in.

In both situations, I am a bit perturbed as to how someone can allow someone to penetrate their most intimate areas and not allow them access to their everyday rituals. I am not saying that one should spring up and anounce the megatron size doodie they've been prarie dogging for the last half an hour but how can you fuck someone and not be able to shit in their house? You allow them to see your sex faces which by definition are not pretty but you can't allow them to know that you as a human being actually relieve your bowels of built up fecal matter?
Or that at 330lbs you have problems getting out of bed?
Was the 330lbs some kind of secret? I think if he is sleeping with you, he's ok with the 330lbs and yes not being able to get out of the bed is embarressing but to build an entire morning routine to cover the fact that you don't want this man, who smelled your morning breath, hovered over you doggy style and watched your mouth and eyes contort into faces that can be mistaken for pain or agony, to watch you as you perform your out of the bed routine is insane.

Have we as women devalued the price of the cootch that much that being intimate is no longer that, intimate? Maybe I'm the last of the mohicans. I don't think I can undress in front of someone and not be comfortable with allowing them into other aspects of my life as well. It's too personal.

But then again, I guess you don't have to undress to fuck

It's PantyDropping Time

2010-06-29T07:33:00.000-07:00

Saturday I received my BDAY gift from my mom.....

Tickets to see Maxwell at the Garden.

Originally I thought Jill Scott would be performing but I got there to learn Jill Scott performed the previous night and Erykah Badu would take the stage instead. dissapointed but not upset. I like Erykah. My mom, not so much, she leaned in to say wake me up when she's done.

The concerted was slated to begin at 7pm. I am almost always early and I have an obsession if you will, with things beginning at the advertised time. I previously went to the Garden for a John Legend concert. I was 5 minutes late and found myself missing the first song of India Arie's set. Thinking this concert would be similar i eagerly waited in anticipation of the ankhy one's presence on the stage. Disappointed I would be. Instead at 7:05 pm Guy Torre came on the stage. The first words out his mouth were how all ya'll niggas doing.

Deep sigh, I knew this was going to be one of those concerts. He went on a profanity laced, black sterotyping sexually explicit filled set with the emphasis being Maxwell's legendary panty dropper status only to end with a song about big areolas.
It's 7:30, now I'm certain FatBellyBella will appear any second now. well she did, 2100 seconds later. At 8:05 she walks on the stage and sings "my love what did I do...." I'm gracious, I absolutely loved this new album. She moved right along into Out my mind, Just in time. Great, I'm almost willing to forgive her tardiness. She performed a few hits from her previous album, but did not touch Window seat, a fact that upset the crowd (at least the crowd around me) who seemed EB bandwagon fans. At 9, she says that's my time and walks off.

Intermission.

and at 9:40, Your highness, sir I make yo panty's wet walks out on stage and two rows in front of me 2 women began fighting. Perhaps they were arguing over who get to throw the first panty. The security guard breaks them up and does the unthinkable, in lieu of kicking their dumb asses out the garden, he took them to another seat..closer to the stage, prompting me to mush my mother in hopes of better seat placement. (although Our seats were very good)

I'm not sure if you can tell by the lyrics of his songs but Maxwell's a freak. I'm talking kinky freak at that. He started with Bad habits and then playfully suggested a friendly choke in the bedroom. Some skank threw her red panties on stage which he grabbed and wiped all over his face. Being the skeptic i am, i refuse to believe this was not staged. in the age of herpes and anal warts, there is no way anyone should be rubbing a stranger's ejaculate laced drawers on about their face.

Then the ever so familar plucking of the strings signaled the beginning of This woman's work. Good Lawd i love that song, but apparently my love could not compete with the lady a few seats away from me who after a few rum and cokes proclaimed his falsetto is making her cum.

Of course Master of the panty dropping could not refuse the opportunity to tell the men in the audience that he is the appetizer and they should be able to go home and get the main course...but if they can't cook he is a chef as well, prompting many women to pop their coochies in anticipation.

it's 10:40. Maxwell calls it a night and the crowd is confused and upset. How dare you walk out without singing Pretty wings.
10:42 Maxwell comes back on stage and belts out his Pretty Wings Finale.

a great night it was.
Thanks to my momma for the wonderful gift.

P.S. thou shalt not take a random chic to see maxwell (at least not prime seats.) She will text her friends how much your breath stinks and sit closer to kingsmomma than you.

P.P.S maxwell is teh new J.T Matthews

Dereon = The New Rocawear

2010-06-25T08:57:00.000-07:00

Let me preface this by first stating I am not a hater, seems like one must make such statements prior to saying anything negative about anything concerning Beyonce.

When Beyonce First unveiled her plans to develop a clothing line, a slew of emotions came over me. I was excited, For sure, I thought, Beyonce would lend her newly acquired fashion taste to the creation of her signature line. I was scared. Mama Knowles would be designing as well? Not so sure about that. Designing over the top costumes is one thing but her everyday designs still left a lot to be desired (unless you were a tranny).

Then the line Dropped. I remembered thinking okay not so bad. A bit pricey for a fashion novice but okay. I even bought these shoes, (say what you want I get complimented anytime i wear these babies...and they were on sale $30)

but alas, people had common sense and decided they didn't care who Beyonce was, they weren't forking over 100 bucks for a cotton tee shirt. She then came up with the ingenious idea of Dereon. House of Dereon's little sister that could. And thus created the hood rat, too old to still shop in the juniors section Uniform. An honor formely held by Applebottoms and babyphat.

I have yet to find anything that I would purchase from dereon. But that's a personal opinion. The main problem I have with Dereon is that while Beyonce and her team of designers see this

I see This

and this

I already know that I'm not in their target demographic, I did graduate from college so I never really pay any attention to their advertisements but I always thought the clothes she advertised were completely different than what she sells.

Well I came across this picture......

I guess Dereon is an equal opportunity fashion disaster

*I assume its Dereon b/c of that damn overused Fleurdelis symbol. I could be wrong. Either way it's atrocious

Good or Bad hair

2010-06-23T13:18:00.000-07:00

While walking down the street one day I was asked, What type of hair do you have?
I'll admit I was used to this question when my answer would be Deep Wave 18 inches but now I have no clue what to say so I said natural black hair. The girl looks at me and says oh no like do you have 3a/4a hair?
Now i did enough research prior to beginning this process to know that those numbers and letters somehow correspond with the texture and volume of your hair but I thought it was stupid then and I think it's stupid now. I just answered oh it's kinky.

I'm sure there could be some argument made for the necessity of these hair typing systems but I can't find one and quite frankly I don't care to. The only thing I am concerned about is whether my hair is healthy. Different products work differently for different folks so even if we were to have the same type of hair perhaps we'd get different results. Furthermore, my hair is composed of at least two different textures.

For me, it's a caste system that further separates supposed good hair from bad hair with the kinkiest of hair being the worse. Now there are all kinds of elixirs, puddings, shakes and milk that promise to transform those kinks into curls even going so far as promoting themselves as having the ability to tame the untamable.

It's a funny thing that I silently observe in this natural community. Alot of kinky girls have that pagent answer when asked why did you go natural. Almost everyone responds with some derivative of being tired of conforming to european standards of beauty, or embracing my roots. I read so many blogs and message boards of people looking for that Holy Grail product and to the outsider, you'd swear this holy grail product does for the natural exactly the opposite of what they proclaim. Most often, that holy grail product rejects the kink and praises the curl. This sentiment is harshly felt when the "product doesn't work" and all those who buy them lament about it's failure to define a curl. You can't define what you don't have naturally. Just because the word curl appears on the label doesn't mean that will be your result and if that is the main reason you are buying a product, you are no better than the very people you criticize as sellouts and conformists aka creamy crack addicts.

The most Bang For your Buck

2010-06-23T06:25:00.000-07:00

I recently signed up for a group coupon site and already the deals I have been presented with are amazing. One month of Gymboree classes and open gym time (a $225 value) for $39.

Check it out here

It's called Groupon
It's free to sign up and completely worth the 5 minutes required to fill in your information.

ways to tell your kid is ready to ditch the stroller

2010-06-22T12:47:00.000-07:00

Pssst... I don't have a penis

2010-06-21T07:00:00.000-07:00

"Happy Father's Day with much love for being a powerful force in your child's life"

was the text message I receieved at 1:36 pm on Fathers' Day.

I received messages and notes with the same sentiment EVEN after I asked that people not send me any father's day accolades.

Call my dad who is teaching King how to piss standing up
Call Bajan who will probably teach king to drive stick (and who tries to tell him no...good luck with that bajan)
but don't call me.

It absolutely infuriates me that people feel the need to call out deadbeats on a day that celebrates upstanding men. My friend and I were discussing the topic and she stated that people have to differentiate between those who take care of business and those who don't. I disagree. The men who are active fathers know they are active fathers, hell they don't even need the hallmark holiday to know they are doing a job well done (but they won't pass up a free pass to bbq and watch the game) and the men who KNOW they aint shznit know they aren't doing right by their child. I'm sure (if they have a person like me) they are constantly reminded of their shortcomings. Why wait until father's day to call them out? Furthermore, why do we only do this on father's day? I bet you Siovaughn Wade had a great mothers' day.

What angered me the most about that text message above was the source. It came from King's paternal Grandmother. For really though?

I can never be a father nor can I take a man's place in rearing my son. I can only hope to surround him around men that will help mold him into the man I'd like him to be while doing my best as his mother to nuture and foster his development. That's it. There is soo much about being a black man that I WILL NEVER understand and as such I could never teach my son. I understand the meaning behind wanting to wish a single mother a Happy father's day but it is insulting to the men around me who are helping me in this process, it is insulting to the many men who ARE there for their children and it is insulting to me as a woman and mother.
Do we talk about Dr. King's various affairs and personal shortcomings on his day?
If you want to send a message to the men who aren't parenting their children, do it EVERYDAY, not just on Hallmark day. Let the deadbeats in your life know that it isn't acceptable everytime you see them. When they want to come to your house and chill, tell them to go see thier kid. When they want to hit the club, tell them to take the baby to the park. Don't condone his inactivity

Day One

2010-06-16T07:13:00.000-07:00

We promise ourselves that we're going to be better,
make it to work on time next week,
work out,
eat healthier,
act nicer to folks...
but we don't

we continously procrastinate our start date for our life changes

I had an incident which reminded me that I could no longer play the victim card. I needed to be proactive. I've been somewhat depressed since I gained weight after my back problem. I've been in a funk because many things I wanted haven't gone my way.
After a healthy and cleansing purge one night I woke up at 5:30 am and began my morning workouts in the park. Day one has now turned into day 10 and I feel accompolished. I can now run 1.1 miles and 20 minutes of an intensive circuit routine without feeling winded.

There are a few more things on my wish list that need to be attacked but I know that those day ones are very close in my future.

Double Wedding

2010-06-15T07:17:00.000-07:00

Tia and Tamera Mowry are starring together in a film where for the first time they will not be playing teenagers. I'm Super excited, and not only are they starring in it, they produced it.

Check out the trailer below

King got a cookie....

2010-06-11T10:46:00.000-07:00

And not its not what you think,
King's father told me one day after dropping him off
oh King got a cookie under his eye.
I looked at him and he didn't have a cookie so i looked confused. Huh?
Him: yeah he fell and now he got a cookie.
STill i failed to see the correlation between the two. Now giving that I'm lost, wtf are you talking about?
him: he has a bruise under his eye
me: Ohhhhhh (enter confused as hell look here)

I also remember talking about the Central Park Jogger in my Women Studies class and which later became a discussion on feminism and why (as the professor put it) black women normally don't ascribe to many of the theories and ideals of white feminists.

I gave a two part answer, one that placed race at the foreground and one that touched upon the black womens' role within the home as well as outside the home. NO ONE HEARD THAT. Here's why

During my answer I said in a very informative manner, black women often feel torn between their causes and their communty. While they may feel very strongly about thier issues as black women, they are looked upon as being Two-faced from black males. (continue explantion of my point for another half paragraph)

Hands rose and everyone looked thought provoked. Rather than my point being the topic of such provocation, everyone (may I just add that I was the only woman of color in the class, which also made this moment even more embarressing.) wanted to know what two-faced meant. I kicked myself for that. I knew better and tried to simply use another (more formal) word in its place. They were not hearing that. I had to explain to the entire class what two-faced meant. It was embarressing and it taught me a life long lesson which is why I cringe when parents speak incorrectly around their children.

Your child will learn whatever language you speak around the house. They learn how to form sentences based on hearing the parent speak and this becomes their NORM. This is why I don't allow people to cuss around my son or speak slang. He has gotten in the habit of saying yeah in lieu of yes and I continuously hound him about that. He also will say huh but i give him the look and he says yes mommy? and we continue from there.

It's important for children to surrounded by good habits and speaking in a grammatically correct fashion is one of them. You would do your child a great disservice if they continuously hear you say "I do be doing that don't I?" or use Had in front of every verb. They hear your usage and repeat the grammatical errors and unfortunately lag behind their peers in school. If your child goes to a decent school, continued use of such errors will cause failure and its not the child's fault. I also took a sociology class with a teacher who advocated the use of ebonics and rap songs in class as a way of helping students learn, and cited the prevalence of parents who speak incorrectly as the main reason why there is a need for such programs. She, the doctorate holding teacher and I severely disagreed (it's a miracle i passed that class) on that but she was right on to state children are a product of thier environment.

5 Reasons Why I couldn't Care less about Slim Thug's Comments?

2010-06-09T09:38:00.000-07:00

5. Any Man who cheats has NO business talking about how to sustain a healthy loving relationship. See here And that he was dumb enough to get the mistress pregnant is an even greater reflection of his lack of common sense.

4. His "english" made his statements quite unreadable. You can't attempt to make a serious point "speaking hip hop".* My son has a better command of the english language than he does. that his girlfriend graduated from an Ivy League proves they have the best grading curve ever.

3. His biggest hit was actually a verse on the song for the Pink Panther Movie. Boy Please

2. That he calls himself Slim Thug. At no point since his "debut" had he be extremely slim (think slim of 112 where the name made sense or extremely huge to where the irony was accepted (think Tiny Lester aka Deebo from Friday). Thug? (see the above ^ ) He's as "menaical as a pillow fight" He just a slighty pudgy Michelin man with identity issues.
and the number one reason I don't care about what he said nor do I take it seriously is that he is delusional. How else could he honestly utter the following

"Most single Black women feel like they don’t want to settle for less. Their standards are too high right now. They have to understand that successful Black men are kind of extinct. We’re important. It’s hard to find us so Black women have to bow down and let it be known that they gotta start working hard"

Jay-Z he is not, Hell Soldier Boy (though he's not quite a man, he is successful) he is not. I polled about 10 people this morning and not many could tell you who the hell slim thug was and the only way some did recognize him was b/c of that Pink Panther song. So I ask, who the hell is he to even include himself in that group of successful black men? Anyone in his "situation" who does has got to be 730.

*then again he made these comments to Vibe, It just may be that I am not his target audience.

You Better Work!

2010-06-08T13:49:00.000-07:00

I normally try to stray away from doing the celebrity fashion/gossip/trend blog thing but I just had to post this pic

Ms. Willow Smith

Home girl is rocking. It. She channels her own style while still being age appropriate. It's not for everybody but I love it (and I am the girl who coveted** pink cowboy boots with tassels when I was in elementary school)

and this picture of ~~my husband and step daughter~~ Willow with her father is priceless.

Now all those Naysayers would probably jump on this outfit if graced the pages of What Rhianna Wore Daily. I guarentee it. It makes this outfit and Willow that much better for me. She exudes confidence and at the tender age of (10/12?) Trust She will be a force to reckon with when she gets older. People also question their parenting skills by allowing them to walk around the way they do and to that I answer, have you not seen vintage Jada? I mean A different World Jada? Umm Yeah Exactly. I love them as parents and I love how happy and well adjusted their children seem to be.

**and by covet i mean sat on the floor of Buster Browns crying until my mother went ahead and ~~yanked me by my earlobes~~ purchased some pratical black ones that I destested.

*** I received a pair of heeled pink cowboy boots about 5 years ago. Talk about Heaven on Earth

A few of My Favorite Things

2010-06-07T11:08:00.000-07:00

Well let's go ahead and get this out the way

Ray Allen and the Celtics (Note I said Ray Allen First. I go where Ray Goes, he's a SuperSonic, I'm in there, He's a buck, well you get the picture) IDK why everyone wants to jump on the Jesus Shuttlesworth Bandwagon now. My son's names was supposed to have a tribute to him but it was rejected...

Brandy. I don't think I need to say anything more than that

My natural hair and of course the No having to sleep with pillows propping up my neck so as not to disturb the tiny curls I just paid 60 bucks for.

All things Karen's Body Beautiful. I just reupped or else I would have gone and indulged myself in my other favorite thing which is hair accessories.

Courtesy of ChristieLove

I would try to do these myself but King said no.

These Shoes.

The word Indignant. I just love how even if Claire Huxtable said it she'd still sound indignant.

Costco Sheet Cakes, more specifically the vanilla sponge with Vanilla mousse.

Army Wives and Drop Dead Diva

Blogger/blogging

My Munchkins

honorable Mention ***Rajan Rondo,

So what he kinda sorta reminds me of Martian Manhunter. He could still get it on the 3 pt line. <--so unladylike huh

Now For a few things I could live without

Hotdogs and the word Frankfurter, but whats worst than hotdogs? The smell of the belch of someone who just devoured said hot dog.

Lace Fronts especially the Yaki ones. I loved doing my doll's hair as a kid but Never ever did i aspire to have shiny plastic hair like that some day. Those I just got edged up hairlines are THEE freaking worst.

Deadbeats and

People who say Oh I'm sorry when they ask about King's father. I'm no widow, he's a jackass.

Easy girls who don't realize they're easy

How Effing Fierce.....

2010-06-07T09:59:00.000-07:00

Is Brandy

I know I'm Biased and everything But She looks fantastic. The Lace front is on point and I'm absolutely dying to have that top.

Your mother borrowing $20, That's complicated

2010-06-04T10:38:00.000-07:00

Ran across this video.

I know they're poking fun but I know some people are actually going through this.

Rifle Shooting, Tequila Tastings and Banana Hammocks

2010-06-01T09:11:00.000-07:00

I took the king to the park to get some mommy baby bonding time prior to my departure. The boy is getting so big.. and handsome if i may say so myself

Then I boarded my Jet Blue Flight to Mexico. Smooth Ride, great leg Room. I recommend.

Stayed at the Valentin Imperial. Beautiful Place

But it was for older people. Wanna know how I know? They sold this in the gift store

We got there around Dinner Time, So we changed and ate at the Mexican Restaurant. I hate Guacamole but this stuff was muy bueno. added 3 pounds to my frame just off chips and dip.

Went for a late night Stroll...and fell

Then It was my Sister's Bday (and Mothers Day) We got her the nintendo DSI, would show pics but someone decided not to be dressed during the gift presentation.

Bday Girl wanted Sushi So Off to Ginger we went

Cute heels are seldomly practical

Off to the pool, then el playa

Rifle Shooting, Tequila Tastings and Banana Hammocks

Made Friends with the Local wildlife

Went Jet Skiing

Played Numbers and Jenga

and Came back home

Turned 26 and rooted for the Celtics!

Aint seen you in a Month of Sundays

2010-05-27T11:53:00.000-07:00

I'm back. Oh the vacation was great. Mother's day was Great. My birthday was Great.

The sun burn and the returning to work...NOT so Great.

Pictures to come but just some quick updates

*Got waitlisted at Practically every school I applied. I'm okay with that, although Vanderbilt and Tulane gave me a straight out NO.

*finally let my natural hair out. funny story
This was my first wash and go so naturally it looked a bit messy but I liked it. Well Not many others did. Even heard Pickaninny being thrown around. Stuff like that doesn't bother me....Unless I'm already bothered. Well this one day while out food shopping homegirl was walking towards me staring hard. So I say "pickaninny huh" so she says "huh? Oh no Your nipple is hanging out."

*brainstorming and preparing for two business ventures and one volunteer opportunity.

and King what a big boy he is becoming. My sunburn was peeling so king said mommy you hurt yourself? its ok, I fix it. He then plastered my arm with band aids. gotta love him.

pics to come soon but I will leave you with this hilariousness

LMFAO @ the 1:16 mark
and yes this the the real commerical. Saw it late one night just had me rolling

Gone Fishing......

2010-05-07T11:27:00.000-07:00

Well Im actully off to Mexico

but Before I go I wanted to Wish all the mothers out there a Very Happy Mother's Day. Spend the day thinking about how great you are in the eyes of your child.

That's really all that matters

and i'll take a sip of whatever alcoholic tropical frosty Drink I'll have in my hand that day.

Yes it is hard as nails and you may struggle but remember Butterflies, rats, and pigs all eat/kill their young, hell even lady Kangaroos will abandon their young if they can't muster up the energy, so you are at least better than they are at mothering.

Happy Mother's Day

Intro to Buy-Bye

2010-04-30T11:10:00.000-07:00

As some of you may know I am headed to ~~drown my sorrows in Tequila~~ until the 23rd of May. Since I'm doing ALL this packing, I've had to go through my room, If you followed me on twitter last year, you saw that I had a million trillion boxes of shoes. Well a fellow Blogger came up with a concept that is pretty nice and one that I have implemented wit hmy son in a way.

She calls it Buy-Bye. When she purchases a new item, she gives away the similar item. Well I have selfishly been ~~throwing away~~ making my son give away a toy as he receives a new one, but How can I not lead by example?

So starting when I come back from Vacay, I will be joining in this. I have my eyes on a few pairs of shoes so I will be giving away a few shoes. Size 8.5 or 9. Mostly heels.
I try to give my things to local shelters or goodwill. I have donated a bunch of books to a women's prison so I won't do the Buy-Bye thing very often but I will do it once in a while. If no one responds to anything I'll continue to donate my items. This is soooo not altruistically motivated as I am in need of closet space.

Feel free to join in the concept.

So schools can Spank but they call ACS on parents?

2010-04-28T07:22:00.000-07:00

In an age where more and more girls are choosing Dresses Like this

to wear to the Prom, I feel a Dress code should be welcomed by all but this one's just a bit twisted.

Erica DeRamus was suspended for 3 days for wearing a dress that violated the School's Dress code.

Here's the dress

The picture is a bit misleading as when she stands up straight, the skirt is no where near her knee. Ms. DeRamus stated when they told her she was showing too much cleavage she responded what cleavage?

To that I say BullShit. My dear even Victoria wouldn't be able to not gossip about those Cups.

My problem lies here:

She was given the option of suspension or paddling. What kind of antiquated penal system is the school using? Erica DeRamus responded to those who stated she should have opted for the paddling (which 17 other people who were found guilty of the dress code violation chose) by saying I'm a 17 year old young woman, I'm too old for that. I agree. Here's where we diverge. Ms. DeRamus feels she should not have been penalized at all. I disagree. The dress code wasn't a suggestion. There were specific measurements that were listed for all students to adhere to while Prom gear shopping. She opted to ignore them. As a result she should have been made to suffer the consequences, however, the School Board sends a mixed signal to the students with the way they handle such violations. Students are allowed to stay at the prom for the duration of the event even after they have been notified of wearing an outfit which defies the dresscode. In my opinion, all students who do no adhere to the dress code should be turned away. THAT will mean something to them and would greatly decrease the amount of students who disobey the dresscode. As it stands now, they are able to wear what they choose but face minor discomfort (paddling) or suspension later. One administrator went on record to say the dress code is for the safety of the children. So then why allow the children to remain in the "unsafe" outfits for the entire night. All students who wore garnments that deviated from the dress code should have been escorted to a room where the prinicipal or whomever called the parents and asked them to either bring a change of clothes or take their child home. You can't have it both ways.

Oh they Grow up so fast

2010-04-27T11:32:00.000-07:00

Was watching Go Diego Go with the youngin'

At one point, Baby Jaguar was falling through the trees and Diego asked us to put our hands out to catch him. So I'm sitting there with my cupped hand out and I tunr to my son and said King, don't you want to catch Baby Jaquar? COme on, Put your hand out.
Here was his response

No mommy. That's in the TV.

Something's Just Not. Quite. Right....

2010-04-23T12:50:00.000-07:00

Can't seem to put my ~~toe~~ finger on it but something is slighty off...

Now I want to ask why EVERYONE else is wearing plain clothes and they are dressed like they are headed for a night at the Roxy's, but that's not even the issue I'm having....

WTF is going on with her feet? Then she makes matters worse but calling attention to the situation with taht metallic gold look at me polish.

Ugh they should chop off her feet

Oh C- Error

2010-04-22T06:44:00.000-07:00

I just watched your new ~~dry porn~~ Video. Gone are the days that your weak voice was made bearable and camoflaged by your dancing expertise. Said Skills garnered you mucho comparisons to the late Aaliyah.

I don't know what happened, I don't know who's to blame for this new installation of fuckery but baby girl come back to your senses.(Said in the patoi accent Marcia Spoke to her demented Brother with) You seriously put out a song in which you sing "they love they way i ride the D" and stand there in some cliche ass monokini with a full length fur which looks more out of place than Chanel Iman in the Victoria's Secret Catalogue. I know sex sells but you my dear don't seem to be finding a buyer.

Then your dance moves seemed mighty familiar and it dawned on me that they are the samed moves I mightly and rather ashamedly fanned myself to while watching Chris Brown execute in Take Me down.

ANd to make Matters worse, Ludacris says "with a rack like that and a back like that?" Did he make up that rap for Beyonce?

Whoo CHile I just can't.

Good luck with that, not sure who your target audience is but I ain't buying
P.S. I think I'd rather Keily Williams Spectacular (if i had to choose anyway)

If you wanna check it out click here

and I Blame the Writer's Strike

2010-04-20T09:08:00.000-07:00

For the increase of reality TV shows.

Sure there were trickles here and there but I think they (the writers) single handedly signed their own death wishes. They brought production to a screeching halt. Sure Network execs signed off on a new contract to get them to continue writing those "memorable" line for those shows we love, even if the actors themselves weren't too appreciative ahem ~~nicole the lying daughter from my father the hero~~ Katherine Heigl.

I for one don't really care about the goings on in other people's life so I never really found myself wanting to watch a reality show...Until Brandy bit the bullet.
Insert DEEP breath here
deeper inhale
...and release

Twitter took away some of the mystery of some celebrities, John Mayer was a Dick, Q was a retard and well Reggie Bush as cute as he wants to be just couldn't quite use the correct homophone --> "I think the game is gonna be closer than people think. I don't think Duke is gonna role over Butler! But I think Duke will win..."
and I used to follow Brandy on Twitter but I unfollowed. Twitter was one thing, Reality shows are a whole other monkey.
AS much as I love Brandy, I realize I loved her from afar- through serenades only.
Its been two episodes and you have no clue how it saddens me as a brandy fanatic to realize she's a twit. She literally said she looks up to Nicki Minaj- albeit for her rapping alter ego I am saddened nonetheless.
I'm even more dissapointed at her choice of hairstyle- mainly being that dang lacefront. I can't for the life of me figure out why NO ONE not even her daughter (you know kids say the darndest things) corrected that atrocity of a hairstyle she insists upon displaying to the entire world every Sunday on VH1. During the show, the viewer is able to see little bits and pieces of the family relationship, the charm that make both Brandy and Raymond Jr. who they are, but those moments are few and far between and the majority of the show seems contrived. I'm really not impressed although I will be tuned in this Sunday to watch the whole brandy/ Rodney Jerkins Saga unfold.

I shalt not comment on ~~that show of women bashing the men who make them relevant~~ Basketball wives nor will I comment on those other shows BET insists on shoving down our throats but I will take a knee and thank those striking writers for allowing such eye candy to embed itself upon my pupils on a weekly basis.

Positively Black?

2010-04-14T09:59:00.000-07:00

The other day I was looking through ~~some random ass magazine they keep sending me b/c at some point my uterus was full~~ American Baby magazine (at least that is what I think the name of it was). As i'm looking through all the crap they try to sell mothers and mother's to be I noticed a pattern or omission rather... There were no women of color in any of the ads.

I kept perusing the magazine and finally I found an ad that featured a family of color.

And you know what she was selling? Not a crib, not baby monitors, nope not even a good breastfeeding bra. She was standing there, holding her baby and smiling her ass off promoting Mirena. Yeah Birth Control.

That really disturbed me because as I flipped through this "American" magazine, I was constantly bombarded by images of happy white women as they attempted to sell me some useless product that promised to make my life easier as a mom and the only image of a happy woman of color appeared on a page promoting birth control.

A flurry of questions shot through my mind: aren't black people happy too? Don't we buy cribs and Strollers? Don't we buy cars? Why is it we only see black couples buying a Lexxus on BET or fox and yet that same ad with white actors can be played on every station, including those that cater to a predominately black audience.

Tyler Perry is successful, not because his films are just that damn great, but because he capitalized on an underrepresented market. No one was making black films about regular black people living life. Soul Food came out in 1997, I can't remember a similar movie prior to or after the release of that movie. Post Tyler Perry, there is a new movie just about every year. So what they have the same "you need a man and God to be happy enter crazy ole madea" motiffs. They still for the most part, show black people, not only experiencing turmoils and struggles but happy and thriving...even if they are done in the most unoriginal cliche fashion.

The Fashion Bomb had a post which discussed the lack of inclusion of actresses of color in Vogue's up and coming actresses feature. Amidst the controversy, someone stated that while everyone is up in arms about a publication including women of color, no one speaks against a a black owned and run publication that does not feature white people. To this Claire responded:

"Magazines like Essence and Latina were created because national publications historically ignored and devalued the contributions of African-Americans, Asians, and Latinos. Very concentrated niche groups set out to make magazines that spoke to them about the issues, stars, and news that mattered to them. While a few crossover stars like Beyonce and Rihanna can land the covers of mainstream mags like Vogue and Glamour, a seasoned actress like Gabrielle Union might not have it so easy. While we all loved Gabby in “Daddy’s Little Girls” and “Deliver us from Eva,” the larger American population might not be familiar with those films. Still, Gabrielle is talented, beautiful, and well liked, so of course, magazines like Essence have to give her the shine a broader magazine might not. The problem occurs when mainstream magazines like Vanity Fair, that supposedly cater to a diverse audience, systematically ignore a large percentage of its readership. On its website, Vanity Fair says, “From world affairs to entertainment, business to fashion, crime to society, Vanity Fair is a cultural catalyst that drives the popular dialogue globally.” Essence never claimed to be for every person. On its website, Essence says it’s about, “Black Hairstyles, Black Women, Celebrity Photos, Entertainment News, Celebrity Gossip.”

While I most definitely do not agree with her usage of Gabriel Union as an example of such publication snuffing, I agree with her overall point. Some called this reverse racisim (the term reverse racism is inherently racist, if you reverse racism then shouldn't racism not exist?) that by creating your own publication and not featuring members of other races, you in fact are now part of the problem you sought relief from. I disagree. When the time comes that I can flip through a magazine and see black families happily selling more than birth control to its readers, then I will reconsider. There will always be a need for these minority run and featured publications because our images, lifestyles and perspectives are absent from the main All American ones.

Overheard in the Bathroom

2010-04-14T07:19:00.000-07:00

Lady 1: Aren't you going to wash your hands?

Lady 2: No, its ok i didn't wipe

Lady 1: Oh ok

Birds and The Bees

2010-04-09T12:13:00.000-07:00

As I mentioned previously, I just finished reading Long to Tell. I think it's a must for every Black woman. I will be checking out some of the suggested reading material in the upcoming months. Yet another motiff that appeared throughout the book was Coming of Age and it's importance and impact on one's sexuality.

I don't recall ever having a full fledge conversation with my mom about sex and puberty. I remember the old adage "good girls sit like this, bad girls sit like this" but that was pretty much the extent of sex talk in my household. (again this is my recollection because my mom recalls having these long drawn out conversations over dinner at some restaurant. Maybe she did have them, i'm just certain i wasn't present.) I even remember telling my younger sister I got my period (she got hers first) and she went and told my mom and I cried. More out of embarressment than anything else.

Reading these stories made me think about my upbringing and how that may have affected my sexuality. While I most certainly do not think my attitude and perspective of sex derived from my lack of communication, i sincerely believe some of my beliefs in regards to intimacy were. I don't consider myself to be some sexual deviant but for the most part, sex was this unspoken thing that you knew everyone was doing but no one was talking about. When I finally had sex it wasn't this magical moment where Maxwell was playing in the background. It hurt, and when i got up I felt no different. I didn't run home and tell my mom. In fact it was about a couple of months before I even told my sisters. THAT was the effect my upbringing had, if any, on my sexuality. Sex was to be done, not discussed.

It's something I want to change with my son. Seeing how these early interactions strongly affected future behavior led me to vow to keep an open lines of communication with my son. There are times I fear he will be his father's son. It's crazy because he has some of his father's mannerisms and considering that he is barely around his father that is some feat and I am led to believe alot of this stuff is genetic.

I want my son to be who he is, but I want him to be grounded in humilty and always consider the feelings of others. I know there is a double standard in regards to sex but that double standard will exist in society and not within my home. I will arm him with with the tools needed to make his own decisions and hope my words did not than float through the air.

So my question to you
what do you remember about the Birds and the Bees Conversation, how do you think familal attitudes towards sex and sexuality shaped you to be the sexual/intimate person that you are and what will/have you do/done differently with your children?

Re: Mexican Vacation 5/8-5/15

2010-04-08T09:25:00.000-07:00

Dear fellow Valentin Imperial vacationers:

I am crazy excited about my impending mexican vacay and look forward to a week of restful relaxation. With that said I feel obligated to address one thing: The "illegal" reservations of towels will not be honored by myself or any member of my vacation party. When you walk up to me and block my sun to assert your supposed rights, I will point to the big sign that explicitly prohibits the reserving of pool side seats and beach huts. To ensure maximum relaxation, Don't fuss kindly just gather your towel and move on.

Sincerely,

one giddy future mexican vacationer

So Fresh and So Clean- The little man additon

2010-04-06T09:27:00.000-07:00

Girl on Girl Intimacy...

2010-04-02T09:30:00.000-07:00

Minds out the gutter please

I'm reading "Longing to Tell" by Tricia Rose. It's a book or rather compilation of stories from black women about intimacy, what it means and how it affects their sexuality. So far, I've been able to learn a great deal about myself but one of the more profound lessons I pulled from the book was the concept of sisterhood. I've said many times that I'm more friendly with men than women. When I was younger it was because I was a tomBoy and the things I found interesting were not in the least bit something I would or could find myself bonding with a female over. It wasn't until high school that I began branching out and trying to relate with other girls. It was also here that I my distrust of other females began to grow.

I had a really good friend from 9th to 10th grade when she left and moved down south. I don't really recall she and I being on the best terms before she left but I remember one day out of the blue she prank called my house and called me a bitch. I figured our falling out had to do with a middle person who i always felt was conniving but the part that bothered me the most was her prank calling and calling me a bitch. I mean we spent the night at each other's house, I went with her to the hospital when her sister's boyfriend got shot, helped her babysit her godkids and here she was calling me a bitch. That was betrayal and that was one seed planted which helped my tree of distrust foster.

The second incident came my senior year of High School. This was a girl that was well liked by everyone. She was on the track team with me and was a member of a club for which I was the president of. I began hearing rumors about she and my boyfriend possibly being romantically involved and I did not even entertain that at all. Wasn't possible. not one bit. Then I removed my head from my ass and opened my eyes. There were a few times when during my senior trip i suspected that I was being set up by her and that I thought she was calling him. Although I suspected it i quickly dismissed it. We were friends. We came back to school and one afternoon, I needed to go to the main office, as I came out the office, I saw my boyfriend looking for her. I mean he was searching high and low and i stood there watching this thinking what the hell is going on. When he found her they went into the stairwell and they were talking but kind of secretive. I left, conducted my meeting, then later on I asked him about it, didn't tell him I saw them, just that I saw him looking for her. He said he never found her. Something wasn't right. I ended up checking his email and I read her email to him and I was absolutly flaberghasted. I cried so hard afterwards. It wasn't just that my boyfriend was proving to be a good for nothing shithole, but this girl was my friend. Granted we weren't bff's but we were friends and I felt so betrayed by the whole thing. a couple of weeks later there was a Barbecue and my boyfriend and I arrived and she was there. This was after the whole incident was made "public". So we walk in and we greet everyone and she stands there and hugs him. I just looked at them and couldn't say anything. Yeah I chewed him a new asshole afterwards but i was so so so hurt by her actions. I would later find out that she invited him to her college dorm room and yep he went. I know through a mutual friend that they kissed and he spent the night in her room. I don't know if he slept with her, while he has admitted that they kissed, he's adament nothing further happened. I don't believe it. That pretty much cemented my distrust of women. Not to mention my own backstabbig incident where I was "involved" with the ex boyfriend of a close friend. I started out trying to get them back together and one thing led to another. I was sorry that I betrayed her trust in that way but my mouth and pride (she had just called me a slut) wouldn't allow me to apologize sincerely so I justified it by saying he was your ex and didnt want you anyway.

The nail in the coffin came from the first girl I met in college. We were inseparable. One night we were lifted and drunk. I was too drunk and needed to go back to my room. She and the boyfriend went downstairs to finish the "cigarette" and I caught them as they were coming off the elevator and she asked him to give him head. He saw me before she did so he wasn't able to give an answer. I was inebriated but not the degree to where I didn't hear that. That was it. From that moment I had a Fuck women attitude. I used to take the stance where i would never knowingly get involved with a man who was already in a relationship... that went out the window. I began messing with married and other off limits men. Starting just being one hell of a bitch. towards women anyway.

I've been slowly trying to return to a state where intimacy with women is doable. I no longer engage in any type of relationship with a married or otherwise involved man. Sure he may be a dick who cheats but it won't be with me. ~~I've stopped~~ I'm trying to cut back on talking about women, have even been doling out compliments to strangers, just so I can get myself back to a place where I don't see women as the enemy. I've never been accused of being too trusting which is why I've always felt stabbed all up in my chest when a female betrays my trust. It's because I let them in and they just go and show me why I had my walls up from the beginning. Men make some very good Friends but there is nothing like having your "sister" there, knowing she has your back, that she will cry your tears and sit on a stake out with you if needed.

What if?

2010-04-01T13:07:00.000-07:00

What if I didn't ring your bell that day when I tried to surprise you, congratulate you for the new promotion you got at the job. Would we still be standing here, you sitting up there pointing at me across the room, telling how I came through with that bottle of hennessy, in my white blouse and grey skirt with my four inch stilettos (you know I always tried to look nice for you) and saw your face while she rode the life out of you, out of my man, only stopping when she heard the noise from the bottle breaking on the marble floor and she turned around with a smirk on her face that met the horror in mine. What if you hadn't said baby I think we need to talk, its not what it seems and tried to man up for your actions, for stringing me along, for telling me baby I'm just too tired tonite instead of honey we're through. what if I hadn't gotten mugged that night and didn't feel more at ease walking with one hand clenching the black steel in my purse. What if you really meant I love you when you kissed my forehead or fucked me raw causing me to mother our child. Would I still be standing here now, on trial for your attempted murder?

Strangely Familiar

2010-04-01T12:59:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I pretend,

as I stare at you that we know each other
that I dumped sand in your hair at the playground and you pushed me to the floor exposing my bloomers,
leaving the X shaped bandage on my knee.
Your mom made you apologize after I cried, and we cut our fingers and declared each other siblings for life.

Then I'd remember saying "ewwl that's my brother" as my friends started taking notice of your God given features,
the way your shoulders started filling out
even when I became oddly intrigued when you took off your shirt and hit the court.
I didn't want to look, but I couldn't tear my eyes away
we locked eyes for that second then you stuck out your tongue.
I didn't tell you then but I fell in love.

Of course I'd also remember when you introduced me to your girlfriend.
She was pretty but I was the girl next door.
I shook her hand and laughed even went to the pizza place with you two,
all the while wishing and hoping you smiled at me like you smiled at her,
That you held my hand when we walked instead of initiating a play fight by putting me in a headlock.

And then you came to me and asked how could she do that to you
and I'd say do you want me to beat her up and you'd smile for a moment look at me and continue
talking about her until you felt at ease and I was distraught.
You never did pay attention.

And then the mail came and your acceptance letters took you away.
We vowed never to forget one another,

Through College

Past first jobs

through the wedding where I smiled deceptively,

holding your first born
crying because it was not me, but for you I was happy
A whole lifetime passed us by in one quick glance.

You're exiting the train now, oblivious to my heartache
ignorant to our history.
You never did pay much attention

Assault Is not really assault. The Great Lesson...partie deux

2010-03-31T07:28:00.000-07:00

I found the cops, called them over. the woman who was standing directly behind me in line said while you guys are going through this can i go through because I'm in a rush. I said sure but when I moved to let her through, the man who pushed me tried to go through so I stepped in front of the gate again. The cops came over to me and I said plainly, i want this man arrested, he assaulted me. The cop looked at me and told me to stand over there, I didn't like the way he said it to me but I moved anyway.

So they ask the guy what happened and he tells them that I was ignoring everyone who was telling me to go to the booth instead of trying to swipe my metrocard and he was in a rush so he pushed me. Next, this little bitch who once said she was in a rush walks to the officer and says I don't know any of them, let me say what happened b/c I don't want to see anything bad happen to this man. She then proceeds to tell ths cops that I was taking too long with the metrocard and THAT is the reason he pushed me out the way. My blood is boiling but i stand there waiting for him to be arrested. The cop turns to me and said that's not assault. I said what do you mean, he goes, we didn't see it so it's not assault. We can't arrest him. So now I'm livid. I ask, now what if i haul off and punch him right now, he said well then we'd have to arrest you for assault. So now i'm tearing up. I'm pissed off, not only will this man have no consequences for his actions but I wanted to punch him in the mouth for pushing me, I wanted to retaliate but i just knew that calling the cops over was the civil (and right) thing to do. As i'm tearing, the little heiffer turns to me and says let me explain this to you. So i look at her and said listen you dumb bitch, there is nothing for you to say to me you stupid little motherfucker (i don't care how educated one claims to be, at moments like this, we all revert back to our most savage selfs which includes the use of several explicatives...even if they're in no order) Dumb bitches like you are the reason women get their ass beat by their husbands. You just said that it was ok for this man to fucking push me. Nothing i did warranted him putting his fucking hands on me. I thought you were in a rush any damned way. What happened to that you stupid twit.

She looks at me like she is going to say something more and I say I bet you get your ass whooped at home. Is that it? that's why you're sticking up for this guy. I turned to him and say you probably beat the shit out your wife too huh? The male cop looks at me but says nothing, then there is a black female cop who tells the little twit to go on. The male cop asks me if i want to file a report. I say so what happens after i file the report. He says nothing. That what the man did amounts to harrasment which is not arrestable. So i say fine, and the man says can he go? The cop takes down his info and i look at the cop and say well he can push me like that and nothing will happen to him? nothing at all? The cop repeats that he didn't see it so nothing can happen. I said ut he admits it right. He turns to the guy and again the guy says yeah he did it but i was taking too long. So the cop says to him, in the future, you can't go putting your hands on anyone. The guy smirks and asks again if he can go, the cop says yeah go ahead. Cop turns to me and says well what was wrong with your metrocard, I look at him and said I don't know. The stupid black female officer says to me well you really should have just went to teh booth. I looked at her and saw lights flashing in my head because I just knew I was going to jail for assaulting a police officer. Instead I said and well he really had no business putting his hands on me you idiot and just kept walking to the table to fill out the report.

I get home, call my besty who is a cop and tell her the story, she says the same thing, that it isn't assault. So here's the moral of the story

As long as you don't leave any marks AND there is no cop around, you can physically do whatever you want to another person. I thought of applying that lesson today in the train station as I waited for this guy after work and pushed his ass back but it would be my luck that he bruises easily and I end up arrested. I'm still very much angry and have no intentions on just leaving it as is. Stay tuned

Assault Is not really assault. The Great Lesson...Part 1

2010-03-31T07:12:00.000-07:00

I don't remember if I said this previously or not, but back in High school, they used to call me livewire. Wasn't extremely proud of the name but it fit. I had an extremely short temper and at the drop of the dime i could go from smiling to seeing red. Kind of like Katy Kaboom or the Incredible Hulk. Anyhow, I have grown immensely since then. It has been a constant struggle to keep my temper in check but I'd say I'm doing well. My son has been a saving grace to many who should have felt my wrath. It is he that I think of when I see flashes of my former self attempting to rear its ugly head. Not the images of handcuffs or possible jail time that could accompany my actions. I try to be bigger, allow those who have aggrieved me in some way to suffer the consequences of thier actions in some civil less barbaric manner. Yesterday was one of those days.

I had a particularly good day, productive at the office and at the gym. I felt good.I get to the train station and I'm swiping m y metrocard. It's not swiping correctly. It continuously says please swipe again. Out the corner of my eye I can see a line forming behind me but I continue trying to swipe. At some point this guy taps me (I'm wearing ear phones) Now I turned around hastily as I thought his taps were a bit too hard for my liking but I ignored it, took one earphone out and a woman said I could go to the booth and they would let me in. I said ok, and returned to swiping my metrocard. Now was that inconsiderate? perhaps. I didn't want to walk all the way across the station to the booth when my card may have swiped. I was going to give it 3 more swipes and then walk over there. Please note, this was not the only turnstyle on this side of the station. They could have easily went to the one which was less than 10 feet from me. So swipe one = fail, swipe 2 =fail, right before I put my hand down to swipe 3, a man comes and violently shoves me out of the way. I turned around and he is trying to move me out the way so that he can go through the turnstyle. I pushed him off of me and as i lok at him I see he's chewing on a toothpick which i immediately thought I should use to stab him in the eyeball. I quash that thought and raise my hand to punch this fool in the mouth for assaulting me. Right before I did that, I stopped. Instead I looked around for the cops.

Interracial Love?

2010-03-29T09:14:00.000-07:00

Sometime last year, I was walking down Fulton Street in my pencil skirt and pumps and this whit guy approaches me. I saw him giving me what I thought was the spacey I'm lost look but ignored it and crossed the street. He followed me, said excuse me and told me he thought I was beautiful. I smiled, thanked him and walked on. He then asked if he could walk with me. I told him I was ina bit of a rush, but if he could keep up it was fine by me. He did, so we spoke. He asked where I was going and I answered to pick up my son from daycare. He said he had a daughter once, me not really paying attention to the conversation said oh what happened to her. He looked down and said she was hit by a car and passed away. I gave him my regards and he said that he's like to get to know me. I smiled, he said no, I'm serious, I'll come to Harlem. insert screwface here as I did not tell him I lived in Harlem. He gave me his business card and I went my on my way. If you had asked me the second after I turned away from him what he looked like, I could only tell you he was a white man with a bald head.

See I had never for one second thought a white guy would be interested in me. Sure in college few guys tried to talk to me, but it was more of a gimmick. As one guy so blatantly put it, Yeah i'd fuck her but I'd never take her home to my mom....or maybe I would but it would be as a joke. (You would think I went to School south of the Mason Dixon line.) Even when I worked at wall street, there were a few older men who mentioned wanting to take me out, fly me to exotic places but even then, my race always made some appearance. One guy told me he'd like to have my black nipples between his thumbs while another stated you black women are my kryptonite. I don't complain about my apparant transparency because for the most part (exclude David Beckham and Brad Pitt) I return the favor. While I won't say that I may never be attracted to a white man, it has yet to happen (well there was this guy i was crazy about when I was 13 but that doesn't count). I am very much a believer in Black love and Black family. When I think of the man who will stand beside me at the altar, he is black. The man who will clench my hand as I struggle to give birth to our child...yep he's black too. The man who greets me with wine after a hard day? You guessed it, he's black.

Perhaps I,like many of my black sisters, am setting myself for failure or limiting my options unlike our male counterparts whose loyalty seems to fade faster each day. Maybe I am. I just know there are somethings that can't be understood by others. Take this jail themed playground, Several people,all white have commented that all those who are upset with this are overly sensitive and should now also call Parker Brothers and demand that they take away the jail space on the Monopoly board game. I don't want to have to explain to someone why that is wrong, why the only place there happens to be a jail themed playground is smack dab in the middle of a predominately black housing project with one of the highest gang crimes rates. If all kids play cops and robbers, why doesn't sue and bill on the upper east side have them as well?

I'm no conspiracy theorist. I don't sit and look for the opportunity to pull the race card at every turn But I know racism still exists. Perhaps it is I who is placing my race at the foreground and am not giving myself the opportunity to meet a man made for me, just in a different hue. I'm not closing my mind to the possibility of maybe marrying a white man, I just know that when i think about the day, i'm picturing will smith and not Paul Walker.

"And Just like the River I've been Running ever since"

2010-03-26T06:35:00.000-07:00

No, Your eyes aren't deceiving you. That really is a Playground and it really says Jail.

Some say its in good fun and ask "haven't you played cops and robbers when you were a child?"

Before you answer let me give you the Backdrop and perhaps you will be as saddened and angered as I.

This "playground" is the community space in Tompkins Housing Projects located in Bed Stuy. One only needs to analyze the old "Bed Stuy Do or Die" "moto" to imagine the type of reality the members of the community are faced with. The daily news states the following "The Tompkins Houses are notorious for gang activity and have seen their share of violence, including the separate shootings in 2007 of a 13-year-old, a 14-year-old and a 16-year-old."
With crime such an obvious part of life for the members of teh community, how could anyone think this was anything sort of a message or premonition to the children of the housing projects? Why not add play tombstones as well?

This hurts me because as I look at this, I see the deliberation. I imagine the various meetings, the execs, the architects who sat there listening to the plight of the neighborhood and rather than create a solace where the children who are witness to these atrocious acts can escape their crime ridden realities, they would rather throw up their hands and say eff it, they're probably going to end up there anyway. Let's just give them a headstart.
To those who say it's all a part of life, we all played cops and Robbers answer me this, why is this design unique? Why isn't this jail theme replicated elsewhere? Why can't I go to the posh upper east side and lock up some of the blonde haired blue eyed little boys in some colorful prison, complete with bars?

Once I get past my anger at the sheer calculated nature of this project I am grossly saddened and disgusted to learn that it has been in existence since 2004. Residents said they would just take their children elsewhere. Why should you have to do that? Inaction breeds stagnance. Change does not come without some fight or struggle. While I want to place the blame for this solely on the contractors, I can't. They alone are fully responsible for its existence, but the residents, collectively have done nothing. The community leaders have done nothing. For 8 Years it stood in all its glory until Monifa Bandele took a picture and passed it along the the blog Black and Brown News who then called the Mayor's office, NYCHA and every other agency that would have been responsible for this atrocity. This should have happened years ago. 8 Years, that means 8 summer barbecues, 4th of July's and Christmases. Along the way I suppose it began to blend in with life, but it shouldn't have been given the opportunity to.

You walk into a smelly room and you think damn this smells rank, you have two options, find the culprit and get rid of it or dwell within the funk until your senses have adapted and are no longer offended. In choosing the latter one has to realize that they begin to stink as well.

Sam Cooke sang Change gonna come. Is it really?

Click here to read the NY times article

"Where dem Cd's At?

2010-03-25T11:32:00.000-07:00

Bored Today so I did some blog hopping and happened across Sandra Rose ( I know but i was extremely bored.) and saw the following Title:

"Monica’s Fans Accuse J Records Of Sabotage"

Bracing myself for some stupid ish to follow I click the link and read this:

Here in Houston we are having trouble getting Monica CD’s. Best Buy only had 12-30 on the first day and they don’t get another shipment til next Tuesday. Target only had 80 copies. Needless to say all Monica CD were sold out by noon yesterday. I think that this was done on purpose and I’m a little pissed about it. They don’t want her numbers to look good in the first week. This is how they do real R&B.

Sandra Rose goes on to say

Mo’s fans have long complained that J Records does not support Monica. And there are rumors that monies designated for Mo’s CD budget were reallocated to other artists projects on the label. The artists are always told how many albums will be shipped in advance

Monica has fans? Place the blame where it's due. This is her 6th album (bet ya'll didn't even know she released that many albums) and her last success was in 1998 with The Boy is Mine. (which was catapulted by the single) Homegirl is lucky she was able to renew her contract b/c had I been the record exec she would have been axed. One album was scrapped because NO ONE liked the lead single. The next two sold a combined total of 1,220,000 copies. That's two albums not even breaking 1 million units, hell the last album didn't even move 500,000 units. So you look at those facts and think I'm seriously going to produce 3 million copies on the first run and end up having them sit in some warehouse or recycled? Nah, no thanks. Had I been the exec, she would have had a strictly Itunes release until proven otherwise.

Let's call a Spade a Spade. Everyone's so quick to do it with Brandy. Return the favor with Monica. It not sabotage. Its you.

Iron Clad Prenup? No problem...

2010-03-24T06:50:00.000-07:00

So the two of them stood before God and family and professed their eternal love for each other. Jump in your DeLorean and 33 years later Cynthia Shackelford is awarded 9millions bucks from her husband's mistress.

I'm not going to recount the full story, you can read that here<---- but I wanted to research the antiquated law that made this possible.

Alienation of Affections was first adapted as a tort By the NY state legistature in 1864. It was created as a means of recouping the value of stolen property, or in other words, created by men to ensure compensation in the event the licentious nature of their wives compelled her to seek gratification elsewhere. This statute allowed the aggreived to sue on the basis of emotional involvement with another as well. Of course this was during the time when women had no political voice and were seen to be the property of their husbands. (Could you imagine the numerous lawsuits that would arise on the behalf of women who caught their husbands with their pants down, literally, with their chambermaids, or saw the "mulatto" children that looked identical to their own?) Enter women's lib and feminism and the creators of this statute are rolling around in their graves watching the fruits of their machismic labors bite them in the ass, well at least in the ass of the woman who so tickled his fancy. While the majority of states have abolished this archaic tort, 7 states still allow them. Most notably, North Carolina.

Cynthia Shackleford joins the ranks of scorned wives who have successfully sued the mistress of her husband. Her recent winfall of $9 million stands testament to this. I can't help but think how ridiculously misplaced her anger and blame is. The respondant owes her nothing. She doesn't know Cynthia, didn't stand there reciting vows, pledging to love forever through sickness and health till death due us part. The person who should shoulder the entire blame is her husband who broke his vow to her and their children. The respondant is planning to appeal the decision. Wanna know what her husband's response to this ludacris lawsuit was? Basically Oh please as he stated he had "numerous affairs going back to the first two years" of his marriage. That in and of itself should have been enough to have this case dismissed as one can not be the cause of alienation of affection if the affection was already long gone. I'm sure some would tout this as another win for the women's movement but they ought to be conflicted. While the wife is granted more clout, she is effectively neglecting and ignoring the role of the husband in all of it. Cynthia Shackleford says this of the respondant: "she's the one that came in between us as far as her luring ways"
Female Dog please! You aren't some damsel in distress and she didn't tie your husband down, fill his mouth with viagra and pounce on his medically induced erection. Your husband was a selfish bastard who cared more about himself and getting his jollies than his family. I'm just shocked that no one (well actually this was more of a default judgement since the respondant was unrepresented and absent during the trial.) called her out on her BullShit. Fact is she is bitter as hell that her husband cheated (as she probably had been in the past during his numerous other affairs), left her and refused to pay the $5G a month he was ordered to pay by the courts. Instead of initiating legal action against the mistress, she should have gone after her dirtbag of a husband for non compliance. While her attorney is confident the appeal will render the same decision, I'm not. Her lawyer just knows either way, he's got high billables and notary. Bet he'll make partner if he isn't already.

She says it's not about the money but the message it sends to homewreckers everywhere. "But I'm just trying to send a message to other people that are like her that if they're looking at somebody else's husband -- that's still living at home, that's still sleeping in the marital bed and comes to parties and introduces his wife at his better half -- to leave him alone and not go after him."
Yeah right. Of course its about the money. Your husband is snuffing you out of the 5G you are due and you're sitting in your cramped apartment struggling to make ends meet working part time at a retail store. The only message being sent here is men: continue to plow the field. That they continue to be innocent victims to the licentiousness of some no moral having seductress.
Soooo your husband had no choice but to emotionally alienate you for said temptress? Along the way, he could have filed a sexual harrassment complaint against this seducting employee or he could have asked HR to transfer her to another department. You just don't want to come to grips with the reality of the situation. He just wasn't that into you.

North Carolina debated abolishing this idiotic law but decided against it not wanting to come off as legalizing adultery. It takes two to Tango and this allows the man to once again get away scot free while the other woman becomes the scapegoat. All of the states that still allow such lawsuits ought to think about the full scope of this "law". It can be applied toward any party that interferes with the marital relationship. All it would take is one big ass lawsuit from a dumped wife who lobbies accusations against her husband's company and I guarantee you this tort will be abolished. quick. fast. and in a hurry.

The worst thing of all: A woman being sued by some aggrieved (ex)wife can't even defend herself by stating she was oblivious to the marital status of the man. How absurd is that? If that isn't excusing the malicious intentions of the man I don't know what is. Until men suffer, there will be no change.

Somewhere I know Shaunie O'neal is wishing her husband played for the Bobcats.

**authors note: While the law was originally created by men for men and there are cases where men have used the law to seek redress against their wife's lover, the plaintiffs in these case remain predominantely female. That assumption is the basis of this post.

Only On Sundays

2010-03-22T10:06:00.000-07:00

I was waiting at the bus stop with King Sunday Morning when this guy came along. He was an older white guy, kind of filthy looking and smelling with that "you know I done had a few drinks this morning" glaze in his eyes. He had on a vagrant backpack. The first bus tho pass was a 4 bus, the guy steps on the bus and asks the driver how he can get to 106th and Amsterdam from where he was. The bus driver, obviously taken aback by his grungy appearance shot back a glance which seemed to mean man get off my bus and then pointed at the 106 across the street and told the guy he needed to catch that bus. (This is incorrect, that 106 would have taken him across the park but he would have been on 96 street.) the dingy guy mumbles that there is no way he will catch the bus and gets off the bus as the bus driver shouted some non sunday expicative at the guy before closing the doors and pulling off.

The 1 bus pulls up next, the man allows King and I to get on first. I thank him and allow king to swipe the metrocard and proceed to my seat. There's a girl and guy talking to each other ooing and awwwing over King, and across from us is an older black woman listening to Gospel Music on her MP3 player. Ask me how I know it was gospel? Well apparently she was one of the long lost Clarke Sisters or felt everyone on the bus needed Jesus. Anyhow the dingy guy steps on the bus and proceeds to ask this bus driver for directions. The driver pauses to think of a route and begins to answer the guy, but before he can the guy says "I asked the previous driver and he was just so nasty and didn't tell me shit". The church mother said Ahh come on Sir (now i'm thinking that she was about to tell this guy to refrain from using such language....NOPE) I've got places to Go either you get on or get off in a manner inconsistent with her destination. Guy looks at her and begins to tell her to shut up and she's arguing with this guy. The Bus driver says "calm down now" and tells the guy he needs to take the #4 bus to Amsterdam and walk over to 106.

I was apalled at the entire scene because just a few seconds before this exchange sister sings alot was just singing thank you Jesus and amen, but she came out of character so quickly. I'm sure if she were lost, she'd expect someone to help her as well. Is it because this man looked undeserving? People are always so quick to talk about the younger generation not truly understanding the commitment it takes to living a "saved" life. They're always quick to point to examples of late night clubbing and fornication but fail to look at themselves. Granted we are going to err in this journey but that to me is just beyond reproach. It was uncalled for. I said earlier she came out of character but perhaps that is who she really is and she is one of those christian heathens, you know the only a christian on Sundays and Holidays. The sad part is, after the whole exchange was done, she went back to saying her Amen's and Thank You Lord's as if none of that just took place.

Put my cock in your ass and then shove it down your throat...then get me a turkey club sandwhich

2010-03-19T07:21:00.000-07:00

For the most Part I stayed away from this whole Tiger Woods thing but dammit I sat there freaking Dying at the crap he was typing this Broad. I kinda want to see ehr text messages to him.

Tiger:Sent: 03:36 PM 08/29/2009:
After i cum you better start sucking my cock to get it hard

Tiger:Sent: 04:02 PM 08/29/2009:
I want to treat you rough. Throw you around, spank and slap you

Tiger:Sent: 04:06 PM 08/29/2009:
Slap your face. Treat you like a dirty little whore. Put my cock in your ass and then shove it down your throat

Tiger:Sent: 04:07 PM 08/29/2009:
You are my fucking whore

Tiger:Sent: 04:08 PM 08/29/2009:
Hold you down while i choke you and Fuck that ass that i own

Tiger:Sent: 04:10 PM 08/29/2009:
Then im going to tell you to shut the Fuck up while i slap your face and pull your hair for making noise

Tiger:Sent: 04:21 PM 08/29/2009:
Where do you want to be bitten

Tiger:Sent: 05:26 PM 08/29/2009:
Next time i see you, you better beg and if you don't do it right i will slap, spank, bite and fuck you till mercy

Tiger:Sent: 07:09 PM 09/07/2009:
What do you want to eat

Tiger:Sent: 07:10 PM 09/07/2009:
Anything simple

Tiger:Sent: 07:12 PM 09/07/2009:
No turkey unless it's a club sandwich

Tiger:Sent: 01:28 PM 09/08/2009:
Have you ever had a golden shower done to you

Tiger:Sent: 01:32 PM 09/08/2009:
Never done it. I think i would get stage freight

Tiger:Sent: 12:08 PM 10/04/2009:
Don't Fucking talk to me. You almost just ruined my whole life. If my agent and these guys would have seen you there, Fuck

After all all that cock ramming throat shoving and butt slapping, he only wants a turkey club sandwhich. And here i was making chicken tacos...go figure

P.S. I just love how he'd get stage "freight"

The Other me?

2010-03-18T06:22:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when I'm bored or just curious I google people. The other day my habit put me in a funk. See I googled one of the females that Mr. Magnificent cheated on me with. Out of all of them (sad that I can say that right) She's the one that bothered me the most and I know it's because He loved and wanted to be with her. I should have taken the hint. That's what bothers me the most. In hindsight, I see the things he did to be with her while we were together and I can't see how I could have been that desperate, that stupdly and ignorantly in love? with someone who could push me down the steps to get me to leave when I caught them together, then call me the next day like it didn't happen. I can't even be angry at him because it was my fault. He showed me with his action where he wanted to be, i just never paid attention.

Anyway i google her name (it's pretty uncommon, she's hatian) and i see all the things she's accompolishing for herself. It bothers me. All the other girls were weed smoking GED getting dick sucking losers but she was doing things for herself like I was. Granted she made honor roll in a community college, she was still "smart" nonethe less. She just had more common sense, was unblinded by love. She stood where I stood but had the common sense to have an abortion. Now instead of being perpetually angry at a man who does nothing for her child, she is debuting her fashion label, while I have to beg a man to visit his son or make it to his gymnastics class. I cringe a bit on the inside because I know the things I sacrificed for my "relationship" and I see where that got me. Make no mistake, I love my son to death but i do think about how differently my life would have been had I not been a mother, Had i went to DUKE instead of CUNY, had I took that internship. I think for the most part I am still bitter and resentful because I still have all these what if's bouncing around in my head, because the road not taken would have led me down a different perhaps more successful path.

I don't voice my true feelings on the subject often because I don't want people to feel I'm ungrateful to God for giving me this blessing but I have yet to come to terms with the idea that this will be my life. Forever. So in my moments of pain or anguish, I imagine a life where I am different from the me now only I can't imagine it without my son.

"Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you're wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn't love you anymore."
---Lady Gaga

(P.S. I don't even like Lady Gaga but she speaks the Truth....Ask Sandra Bullock)

Going your way... Commuter Diaries

2010-03-10T12:19:00.000-08:00

The one with the drunk feeler

So I'm on my way home from a long day of work. I get on the two seater, for quite some time I am left to my solitude, to play sally salon on my phone. Of course the mta budget cuts have forced over crowding on the buses and trains as a result it was only a matter of time before my solitude would be disrupted.

Enter sir drinks a lot
Now its been a long day and I've had the kinds of days where I would like to throw back a few so I judge no one. Even if he is martin lawrence u so crazy plastered at 5 pm in the evening. Naturally my senses heighten when an inenibriated person sits anywhere near me.

So he sits next to me and I can sense him staring at my phone screen. Again I'm playing a visually stimulating game and well drunks are like toddlers so all the bright colors are captivating him. When I look through my peripheal he's no longer staring at me so I continue playing the game. Then sir drinks alotdoes the unthinkable. He does the teenage I wanna put my arm around you yawn stretch except he doesn't put his arm around me. So now my senses are on high alert, I'm talking code orange here. Of course I start thinking maybe I'm just being paranoid. So I shake it off and knock off a couple more points in my game. All of a sudden sir drink a lot seems to need to move his legs. Now its winter so I know there's less space with the bulkiness of the coats but I can feel his leg through his pants. Like I can feel the hot fleshiness of his legs through his pants and now that's a problem but I ignore it. Then the drunk bastard does it again. Again, I ignore it. Now that's twice. Now when I say ignore I really mean I'm not cussing him the fuck out for intruding my personal space because now my head is bent down looking towards him. This motherphucker right here contemplates the unthinkable. As my head is bent down, my eyes are watching his legs, I see him drop his hands down in between his knees and then he moves his hand onto his knee.....then fucking palms my damn thigh. Holy shit batman, this dude has balls. So I push his hand off my thigh and yell stop. (Like one of the 1990's PSA's would advise you.) Now the entire train is looking on our direction, this fucker moves his hand toward my knee and so again I'm pushing him and I yell stop (side note: the value of a seat has gone up so much that I didn't even think about relinquishing mine as there were no other seats available.) So then he turns towards me and tries to put his hand near my upper body and again I push him and yell for him to stop, then he says I'm sorry.....that's when I realized it was ethan hawke....

Nah just kidding, just some drunk bastard who looled exactly liked him. He got off the train. I should have snapped a picture of him to text to the cops (yeah ny is technicalgically sophisticated like that!) To save the next unsuspecting rider of such harrassment. Nope, I went back to my game, got flustered thinking about it so I began this post.

"My mommy says she's can't believe you wore white"

2010-03-05T13:08:00.000-08:00

I'm Experiencing the celibacy blues, this could explain my recent weight gain, which I fully intend on contributing to this weekend when i get a bacon burger combo with a triple thick Milkshake. I'll make up for it on Monday....maybe but this weight gain is IS GONNA CAUSE ME TO TAKE MY SON TO THE NEAREST TREE SO HE CAN PICK OUT A SWITCH! So why's my son bout to catch an old skool ass whuppin'?

my son has just ousted me as a fat bitch. NO lie. He came out in the living to put on his jeans. Do you know what he did that almost got his ass grounded? This little boy right here put his jeans on, then did the squat down, then did the leg kick back and topped it off with a jump while pulling his jeans. Little boy done seen me trying to pull my size 27's over this size 29 ass. Kids just find new ways to innocently embarrass the shit outta you.

and of course my sister ass dials me while she's telling the story to her coworkers. Just ain't shitness going around

SO yeah, kids don't just say the Darndest things, they do em too.

P.S. Why did I find Instructions on how to put on Tight Jeans?

Herpes is Easier to Catch than you think

2010-03-04T08:33:00.001-08:00

SO my sister is a case worker for the HIV-Aids Population and part of her work requries her to attend trainings to be up to date with the latest information and/or tricks pertaining to communicable diseases and methods to prevent them. Normally, this includes how to make wearing a condom sexy (yep they had some woman in there to teach them how to show thier clients how to put condoms on with thier mouth.)

Never did I think I'd catch Herpes.....No I mean it I caught it. AS did my son. Let me explain

I woke up this morning jumped in the shower, got dressed. AT this point my son is watching sesame street and eating farina. I begin to get him ready to leave and my dad throws him this

and says here goes your Herpes...at least thats what I thought he said so i looked puzzled but thought maybe he meant something else and began thinking about what he could have possibly meant. Then he says (as my son is bottomless and rubs it on his genital area) and you put it in the right place too.. SO there confirms it. HE DID SAY HERPES. SO I look at the plush toy. It is a GIANT Plush Herpes blister. Immediately I think my sister has something to do with this. She comes out her room and explains they use these for instructional purposes and the instructors let them have it after class. She explained they try to illustrate how herpes spreads by throwing it around the room and when you catch it, you have caught herpes...the point she illustrated by throwing it to me and thanks to my great reflexes i then caught herpes.

on the tag it also gives you little tidbits of information about the virus. I guess its a great teaching tool but it just seems so wrong to give a child a plush herpes. So we cut all identifying tags off and called it the sun. My sister is now working on getting him Mono and Red Blood Cells... Gotta love Fringe Benefits eh?

Oh yeah, Hep C, the Clap, HIV and Atheletes foot. For the Entire line of GIANTmicrobes, Click here

On A Less Serious Note

2010-03-02T12:47:00.000-08:00

I'm so tired of Talking about Serious life stuff. I'm sure you're tired of reading it... See that's why I went on my Hiatus. I promise to include some funny shat in here as well. But for now here are my absolute Faves

My take on:
1) Butt Sex

2)Body Hair

3) My interview with Beyonce

4) Queefing

5) some sex shit

6) To shit or not to shit

7) Gym Time

And JAMAICA... Can't wait to hit Cancun!

One Funny ass Picture of a Star Wars Penis

and one Hilarious ass post from Khaki.

Don't Trivialize my Anger Dammit

2010-03-01T10:31:00.000-08:00

I read the following at a Blog by Bella

Hi- Newcomer here-I'm not going to suggest anything to you- just sharing my story... my father wasn't around in my life either- he was pretty sorry but I must say- it hurt me and to this day as a grown 30 year old woman that I do NOT have my fathers last name.I have nothing that identifies me as being his child- this is something that is important to me especially now that we've started getting closer. I've been very angry at my mother for not making sure his name was on my birthday certificate or atleast giving me his last name on the birth certificate. I love my mother to death - wouldn't trade her for the world - she did a wonderful job and mom AND dad but I still am stuck on the fact that I don't have his last name. I'm jealous of my half sister because she has his name and I don't....anyway- enough of that- just wanted to add my 2 cents on the whole last name thing- its painful...I recently told my mom about my feelings and of course all she could do was apologize...I think in all the baby daddy/mama drama- people fail to keep the childrens best interest in mind- all their concerned with is how their ex is treating them and how to get back at them

Now I can't figure out if she means sorry as in the father was apologetic or sorry in the sense that he was a good for nothing bastard who by ignoring her and her sister passed on that status to her as well but I digress. I have two MAJOR issues with this comment. The first being that she takes issue with her mother for not making sure he signed her birth certificate. Excuse the hell out of me but he is a grown man. Why should anyone have to make him do something? Clearly he signed his other child's certificate, he should have done the same for her. Clearly such omission was an omen to his future absence. As a woman, my last name is temporary (maybe). On my wedding day, my last name will reflect my life as someone's wife, but that change does not discredit the man who raised me. The woman commentor should feel cheated but not because she was robbed of a connection to her father by name, but because she was robbed of a physical and emotional connection to her biological father. That alone is his cross to bear and no one else ought to be held responsible for that.

The second issue I have with this comment is her use of baby mama drama. If you read the entire post, you'll see that the woman is in the process of changing her children's names. The commentor wanted to make her aware that this could hurt the children in the long run. Apparently all we "baby mamas" are concerned with is how to best get back at the dad.
I posted a reply on that forum but I'm going to speak on it here. I am not Bella so I can't imagine what she's going through, what her children are going through. I know there are some Crazy Bitches (not women, Bitches, women are civilized) who use their children as pawns but the majority of women are not this way. Don't Trivialize my anger for the broken promises, wanton disregard of their child's life by labeling it baby mama Drama. I'm beyond angry. I'm livid and I have every right to be. When I can tell you about your child's class and you tell me you overslept and I tell you that its obvious he's not a priority in your life, I'm speaking fact. It's not Baby Mama Drama. I'm not over reacting. You really are a piece of caca or as Cyrus the Virus said on Con air, you're the white stuff that accumulates in the corner of your mouth when you're thirsty.
When I pay all the bills and still bend over backwards, begging you to come see your child and you go out of your way to call me every name but my God Given, I have the right to be angry as all heck. It's not Baby Mama Drama. Not in the least bit.

When I can look at my son and the way he interacts with the other fathers in his gym class and know that he's missing out, know that is where my anger originates. Not because you may or may not be with another girl, or that you don't call me. It's because you are robbing my son of a full childhood. And when I say Fcuk you you're dead to us, it not Baby Mama Drama. Its the culmination of almost 3 years of neligence, stupidity and pain.

It's not baby mama drama.
Don't you dare trivialize my anger by labeling it as such.

What, No Stamps?

2010-02-26T06:16:00.000-08:00

The other day as I was leaving work i decided it was time to log into my gmail account. I purchased a book from a fellow blogger (will review that later) and as always I monitor my purchases. Instead of seeing that my item was shipped I receieved a letter from UC Berkely. Now I've already applied to the school so I was going to ignore the email but the subject was: Application Decision Reached So I think it will say something like log in to check your status or your decision will reach you in a few days.... NOPE!

Dear kingsmomma,

After reviewing thoroughly your application for admission to UC Berkeley School of Law, the Admissions Committee has decided, with regret, not to offer you a place in the Class of 2013. (no tears here, wasn't in my top ten but I figured I had a fee waiver so what the heck right? Turns out my calculations were incorrect and I didn't have a fee waiver :(. But it still wasn't in my top 10 so still no tears.)
For me the email could have ended here, but it goes on....

Our decision was not easy. The majority of our applicants are well-qualified to pursue the study of law, and indeed many of them are qualified to pursue that study at Berkeley. But with more than thirty applicants competing for each place in the class, our choices must be highly selective. Although our review process is thorough, it is also human, fallible, and in part subjective. Even this part doesn't really bother me. I mean really what is the best way to say we don't want your kind in these parts? (your kind being someone of my makeup, not racially) But still it goes on....

You are to be congratulated on your accomplishments, <----kind of feels like I was being pet on the head like some dog. You know what really would have congratulated me on my accomplishments? ADMISSION.... and I hope that you will be admitted at other law schools. (this sentence is a bit eerie to me. Like some kind of premonition that I won't get into any schools) If Berkeley Law remains your first choice you may wish to consider applying to transfer at the end of your first year at another ABA-approved law school. so I can pay another application fee? No thanks Transfer applicants are evaluated primarily on their first-year performance, and we offer advanced standing admission to 40-45 students annually from an applicant pool of approximately 250-300 candidates.

I am sorry that this letter must convey disappointing news. We wish you all the best in your applications to other law schools and in your career. Thank you very much for your interest in Berkeley Law and for entrusting us with your application.

Sincerely,

Edward Tom
Dean of Admissions

SO there you have my rejection letter. As I stated I'm not too upset about this one here. But here's what Really Grinds my gears about this rejection: In total for this application I paid $72. Are you telling me that they weren't able to find the dollar necessary to send me a physical rejection. I can't scrapbook an email. I know everyone is going green and all but some stuff ought to be physically sent out. This is one of them.

I'm Two Sexy for my pants.......

2010-02-22T08:53:00.000-08:00

Lately my ears and eyes have been asking each other to take themselves out. Why do you ask? Something I'd like to call bad Grammar. Could be laziness, could be the effects of today's mobile generation. I am not sure what the exact cause of this happens to be. Typo's I can tolerate...grammatical errors, especially the glaringly obvious I can NOT!

1sts things 1st.

two is a number, You can not say I am going there two. You can not say i'm going there to. The correct word is spelled with a double o. I like to remind people that if you're going to second that emotion, make sure you add the second O. nerdy you say? whatever, just get it right. (which by the way can not be substituted for the word write. Sounds similar but they mean two <---see two? different things.

Your doesn't equal you're. If you find yourself continuously making that error, you ought to buy Anne Rhimes' Keys for Writers or stop using contractions altogether.

#3 and I blame Beyonce for this: Conversate is not a word. I don't care if America's ignorance caused this word to now be added to the dictionary. I grew up knowing the correct word was converse. My son will as well. Sure he'll have to reteach me the Spanish Alphabet, the continents and the planetary system but we will agree upon the non usage of the word conversate. Which also brings me to the correct usage of the word nauseous. If you say I am nauseous you're saying it wrong. When you say that, you're telling people that you are the cause of other people's digust and nausea. I'm quite certain that isn't the message you were trying to convey....but if it is, carry on.

now this next one I happen to be a frequent offender. I tend to think I'm being coy and while I overuse it, for the most part I use it correctly...

The ellipses
There are several ways of using the "dot dot dot" Most often in writing it is used in quotes or is used as a suspension point or where it denotes silence of the character being ellipsed. I find myself using this as a way of saying what is there without actually saying it.
por ejemplo: I'd only kiss him if his breath doesn't stink and I don't think we're going to kiss.....
still not the proper usage of them but that's the category I fall under. I'm not a stickler one knowing the proper way of using them, just don't go using them all the time. Like this: The sun is shining......
and that would be the end of the damn sentence. When i see that I am waiting for more. When i don't get it, I'm upset.

Lastly I hate all things passive, which means I Hate passive verbs. If you ran to the store, you ran to the store. There is no reason to say I had ran to the store.

Perhaps that Nicki Minaj wanna be on Tyra Banks would have fared better with the audience (stupid theories aside) if she were able to articulate her thoughts better. Telling your daughter not to conversate with a boy unless he gives you a cookie sets her up not only for a lifetime of jump off-ness but relegates her to the back of the classroom with a pointed cap on her head.

R.I.P

2010-02-19T13:28:00.000-08:00

Other than sitting front row at a Brandy Concert I would LOve LOVE LOVE to attend a Chrisette Michele show....

Which Would have happened if someone would have done as I asked them and watched my (his) son today....

so heres a tip of my 40 to the money wasted on those tickets to get me into see a show that I won't be attending..

Wrap it up folks
single parenthood aint no joke

Sex, sex and More sex....

2010-02-19T06:47:00.000-08:00

I was watching Baisden After Dark with my mom and his guest was Johnny Gill. I'm not gonna lie, he looked hella fyne in his little get up, but something about him liked a bit ummm "How You doing ish" anyway He was talking about a subject that I found myself wondering about after listening to the radio for 3 full days. Today's music sucks...
Well he didn't say that but he said today's music is different. I, not needing nor caring about public opinion declared Today's music is dead or at least straight lyrical porn.

******Extreme Sidenote*******Before i continue, I must speak out about this one atrocity.... Stevie wonder is not on the same level as Trey Songs and as such, he should not have been saying ahh on that dang stage.

Anywho, have you noticed that Today's music has taken Salt N- Pepper's song literally and ran with it. Everything and Everyone is talking about Sex, Only this time there is no message within. It's just straight Fucking (which happens to be a song title from Tyrese)

Make your Bedrock
neighbors know my name
invented sex

the sad part about that is 2/3 of those songs come from one person, who before this sexual awakening was pretty much an unknown, whining about how Neyo used to open for him and now he open's for Neyo.. For me, that speaks volumes. No one was checking for songzyup until he got gymmed out and started gyrating. Are we females that hard up? Have we reached yet another level in our sexual revolution?

I remember listening to AzYet back in the day (well sneaking it anyway) singing " i saw the sun, the moon, the mountains and the rivers, I saw heaven when I made sweet love to youuuuuuu" not really knowing what the hell i was singing about but thinking wow this is magical and wonderous and all types of majestical adjectives one can conjure up
I remember blushing when Toni Tone Tony said if it really feels good let me hear you say : uhh uhh baby

Back then (damn I feel old) Love existed. Sex was there too but Love was primary. Hell Even's Jodeci has forever my lady and Cry for you. Where is the love today? It's been replaced by animalistic sex. Void of any feelings, just gratifications of our most primal urges. Its the type of music that spawns and promotes the type of nonchalance about sex that permits Lil Wayne to father 2 children in the same year.
One might argue that today's pop culture is a reflection of our society and to an extent I would concur, however, Sex existed long before R. Kelly. Why is it that the Marvin Gaye's and Teddy Pendergrass's could sing about sex in a manner that would make you feel like you just experienced a magical journey with prince charming on a chariot whereas the Trey Songs and R. Kelly's make you feel like an old beat up Jeep. You feel Bamboozled.. or at least you ought to.

I like sex just as much as the next person but I'm just a little tired of it being placed everywhere I go. Its even more horrendous when you really listen to these songs. They are not even talking abuot sex in a mature way, its more like a young boy on the precipe of losing his virginity may sound. all bark, no bite. Now that it saturates the airwaves there seems to be no reprieve in sight. When will we say enough is enough? Then we ask ourselves why 5th graders are having sex in the cafeteria. The reach of the parents is only so far. I'm sure everyone thought it was cute to see those females chipmunks sing single ladies but if you ask me that's a symptom of a larger problem. Would it have been as cute to have heard alvin and his brothers sing lick it like a lolipop? You may think its far fetched but the same channels that you allow your children to watch to learn the moves and words to single ladies are the same channels that air birthday sex. How cute would it be to have alvin sing birthday sex to his girlfriend.? Its not so funny afterall

Man's Best Friend

2010-02-09T09:34:00.000-08:00

Just imagine for a moment....You're in the house snuggled up with your girl. You're feeling a little frisky so you gently kiss her neck, she kiss you back, hands start roaming. She reaches into your boxers and reveals your throbbing manhood. She sits facing toward you on teh couch so she can have access to your luscious lips while she slides her hand up and down on your shaft. The kisses get more passionate, he starts stroking faster and harder. Things are really heating up and you feel yourself coming to the brink when it happens....

She stops and says my arms are tired.

Don't you hate it when that happens?.......

Intoducing the Shake weight

This time, she's sure to finish the Job.

Oh those young girls, they do get weary

2010-02-05T07:57:00.001-08:00

Where do I begin?

I contemplated deleting my blog. I felt I had nothing more to say. Well that's not it. I felt I had nothing relevant to say anymore. I wasn't the same quirky random somewhat inappropriately funny person anymore.

Decemeber 27, I bent down to tuck my son in for the night and all hell broke loose. I herniated a disc in my back. Of course I didn't know this at the time. I thought a night of sleep would help. I woke up in excruiciating pain at 4 am. Realizing this must be serious as I couldn't move, i called out of work. Then proceeded to call my son's father and ask that he take king for a while so I could heal. Surprisingly enough. He agreed. I went to the Dr. and he gave me the prognosis. I then receive a text message from king's father stating he picked up an assignment and had to work. I texted him back...so what am i supposed to do? he answered can't you get someone else to watch him? I replied no, that is why i asked you......Now I'm standing there in sweats and some t-shirt that i managed to throw on to go to the doctor and i'm taking miniature baby steps. I scramble to find someone to pick king up since i know there is no way i will be able to make it there but that leaves me the evening. How do you explain to a 2 year old that wants to be held, nutured and carried that his mom is not the superwoman he envisions, and that she can not hold him.

December 29, 2009 My babysitter is off on the 30th so my son is with his father until Friday evening. I receive call and my son is crying in the background. I ask what the problem is and apparently king is having problems taking a doodie. I jump in a cab with a gallon of apple juice and head over there. i get there, we sit on the toilet for a few. He drops his kiddies off at the pool and returns to being the happy child that he is.

January 1, 2010. I miss my son, so i call, and call, and call. No one picks up so I call his aunt who then relays the message to his father and calls me back. I ask how my son is and then go into the whole when my son is with you, you need to pick up the phone speech. This ends with some Fuck You's and stupid bitch. Just what I need to start my new year off right.

January 4, 2010. After weeks of anticipation i login to my LSAC account to view my score. All the late night studying, all the drills and practice test, all that meant shit. I got a 152. I freaking 52 out of 180. And I knew it was going to happen. I stayed up extremely late with my sick child (whose father decided he was too busy to watch) who then infected me. I woke up with flu -like symptoms. I'm talking body aches, pounding headaches, fatigue, cough. all of it. I didn't think i did so well but i had hope. I see that 152 and think wow, my chances at Law School have gone down the drain. Now I'm depressed.
But I continued to persevere. I put the finishing touches on my personal statement and addendums and sent out my applications. $762 worth to be exact.

So Now i stand here. overcome with grief, frustration and a sliver of hope that I can transcend this temporal insanity. For my son to have a better life, for me to make him proud as a mom, for me to make myself proud. I have nothing positive to say these days. In fact, I find that I have been mustering what little energy I have left these days to try and maintain a positive spirit for my son. I'm hurt that my inability to see through his father's charms caused me to choose a father for him that in my opinion could care less if he were around or not. It is times like that where I want to have my people hurt him. I sit in my room and cry when king goes to bed. How could I have messed up this badly?

Oh Snap! Happy Holidays

2009-12-21T11:28:00.000-08:00

This is a Funny Ass commerical. Hilarious and warm all at the same time. You gotta thank Yo Gabba Gabba for putting him back on the map

Random thoughts...of or relating to being a mom

2009-12-18T08:39:00.000-08:00

On Abortion
This whole healthcare debate seems eeerily similar to another debate that took place Years ago when the Declaration of Independence and Constitution was being ratified.. you know when several states they would not sign the documents if the wording used alluded to in any form the (probable) abolishment of Slavery....
well yeah this time, the issue is abortion.

My stance on the matter is this: your body, your business. I can't for the life of me understand why all these conservative men feel they should have a say on the matter. No one wants the public money being spent on abortions but you are the same people who complain about "welfare". One abortions is a helluva cheaper than 18 years of medicaid and food stamps. Anyway Last time I checked, You will never be pregnant so fuck off. While I think the matter should be broached with the father of the fetus, the ultimate say lies (and rightfully so) with the mother. (and honestly you all should have discussed this topic at some point before getting busy.)

On Motherhood:
Now I'm a mom, I love being a mom but I don't blame any woman who looks at her situation and decides she doesn't want this for her life (yeah i'm sure someone will say you shoulda kept your legs close... well i'm sure Sarah Plain teached the same sentiment to her daughter and we see how well that turned out.) Motherhood is more give than receive and single motherhood sucks big hairy balls. Shit is hard, there is no glorifying it. I live for my son's cuteness and smiles but being a mom is more than just enjoying the fun parts (that's being a babysitter of grandparent.) There is a big ass no backsies stamped on the ass of your child that the doctors wipes off when he slaps it. People say the day you are born you start to die, well then women hasten that pace each time they give birth (and when they marry) You are no longer that woman who used to party all the time, your friends don't even invite you out anymore.

On "babymama drama"
Again I despise the term babymama and hate the phrase babymomma drama. Shit is so demeaning. If a woman is acting a fool she's not being a baby mama or creating baby mama drama, she's being a bitch. simple as that. I think it was a woman who coined the phrase baby mama drama. It seems like women are so quick to label other women as crazy and deranged, not even taking into fact that the dumb ass monkey in the middle could be construing shit to make him look better. I once read on some blog somewhere where this woman was writing in to ask how she could get her husband's child support reduced because she is pregnant and they need more money for their household. She then continues her letter by saying her husband and one of his children's mother weren't even in a relationship, she was just some slut who had a one night stand. Not once did this trick talk about her shady ass husband who kept unloading his load into various women. Moral: There is no baby momma drama, either you've got a bitch on your hands and is doing what she does best, or you've got a good for nothing asshold in a Mansuit.

on a positive note I ordered the following for Kingston for Christmas,

he should have loads of fun

Did you get offended when you 1st saw this?

2009-12-16T12:46:00.000-08:00

I laughed one of those it was funny because it'so stereotypical that you get a very vivid image of the type of woman he is portraying here but i still laughed.....until I met my own acrylic nailed peter....

now sprinkle some gum popping in the mix and there you have it

2009-12-16T08:09:00.000-08:00

one aspect of my job required me to make phone calls. If I am calling you, it's because A) you're getting a check or B) you're about to have a warrant issued for your arrest. That's it. I figure both are important enough for you to want to speak with me. With that being said, here's one thing I've been coming across lately and wel my temper is starting to get the best of me. I'm trying to keep the demon on a leash but goodness.....

me: Hello may I speak to Mr. _______
female: whose this
me: my name is Kingsmomma, and I work with The FMDL. May I speak to Mr. ______
female: I don't think I know you
(I want to say heiffer I don't think I'm calling for you so it really doesn't matter if you know me or not)
me: well I assure you this is an important matter, may i speak with Mr.______
female: well what is it regarding
(deep sigh. I don't do interrogations well)
me: It a sensitive criminal matter which I am not at liberty to discuss.
female: well i'm his (insert wife, girlfriend, babymother here)
me: Is Mr. ____ available? If not I can call back at another time
female: well he's not going to come to the phone now or anytime cuz I don't know who you are. Click

EXHALE. Deeply

This woman just caused her (in)significant other to have a warrant placed for his arrest. Sad right

I know it may be alarming for some unknown woman to call your spouse, but when said woman identifies herself as a person on official duty, give up. He's probably not boinking the chick...Seriously men aren't that smart. They aren't going to go through the theatrics just for some tail. If they cheat, they're going to make sure the other woman doesn't call homebase, and if she does, she's not going to put on this elaborate charade, they will probably be calling to speak with you and let you know about "your" man.

Moral of the story?
Men: stop doing low down dirty shit to make your girl think you're cheating
women: grow up, not every woman wants your man

not quite right

2009-12-10T07:10:00.000-08:00

Being the Ultimate Shoe Connoisseur that I am, I dedicate some time each day to searching the web for that perfect shoe...Most times I am just Floored by what I find

I mean Look at these babies

But that is not what this Post is about....

Sometimes the shoe, even in all its splendid Glory, is not the focus of the picture...It's the foot......

Now I sorta kinda like those Jeffrey Campbells and I'm sure the girls foot is big b/c she's tall (tall people suffer that affliction) but Damn must her toes look like they are getting voted off the island? Her toes look like their walking the plank. Even if i thought the shoes were cute i'd probably not purchase them simply because of the picture. I would hate to be walking down the street and my toes end up getting acquainted with the ground. No thanks. Really they should have found another model...one with shorter digits....and no corns

one word of advice...or rather 3

2009-12-08T06:52:00.000-08:00

Cheaters Never Prosper

Never No More

2009-12-01T07:43:00.001-08:00

"I didn't sleep that night
I held my pillow tight
Now trust me when i say, you have been told
I'm telling you never to touch me no more
Never no more"

Those are the lyrics to Never No More by the late Aaliyah. I always felt that song should have allowed society to address the secret problem that plagued some relationships: Domestic Violence/ Relationship Abuse. I even thought with the whole Chris Brown Rihanna Situation, the media would use this as a learning opportunity, instead they chose to boost their ratings. The problem remains.

I've thought about posting this draft for sometime and didn't. The one thing Rihanna had right during her interview is that domestic violence is embarressing.

I once asked on Twitter: How many of you have been in an abusive relationship. Many of the people I followed answered: I have....

I think most people can say that they have been involved in an unhealthy relationship. For some reason we correlate that degree of unhealthiness with the extent of our love for the other person and vice versa. In reality, we are coping. We are denying the truth a path to our hearts and minds by covering the trails with emotion ridden pleas. "But he loves me, but he said he will never do it again" Love shouldn't have to be explained.

I remember telling people that I had once been slapped... each person I told said the same thing...it was your mouth wasn't it. I laughed it off because while they were in fact truthful, I still hadn't deserved it. I will admit that I would come to throw punches but that first time was completely unwarranted. Its that reason why I believe a man who hits a woman is like a dog who first tastes blood. It only takes that one time and that dog should be put down. Crossing that line that first time changes everything. Sure he's sorry and you see he's sorry but you now know he's capable of hitting you and your behavior changes because of it. He now has less reserve in the future and will probably hit you again. Because he can.

It is never OK to hit someone. A man shouldn't raise his hands to a woman but a woman shouldn't either. Love hurts but it doesn't leave physical bruises.