Monday, November 9, 2009

# 2 is not a winner....unless there's a scandal, then you're number 1


September 17, 1983 Vanessa L. Williams became the first black woman to be crowned Miss America. Now that should have been a tremondous moment. In all it's 59 years of existence, there had never been a black Miss America. I suppose Vanessa Williams was to black women back then what Disney's Princess Tiana is to black girls today.

Even though she had been receiving threats to her person as well as loads of hate mail, her reign as Miss America would come to an end 10 months later when someone contacted her to state some very personal photos would become public soon. It was the decision of both Ms. Williams and the Pagent to have Miss America 1984 resign her post allowing Suzette Charles to reign as Miss America for the remaining 7 weeks of the pagent year.

Vanessa Williams assumed the photos for which she posed were destroyed. She also didn't expect the photos to be shopped around to playboy and penthouse as she did not sign a release. Her naivte and trusting nature pulled her into a scandel which generating millions for Penthouse and led to the resignation of her crown. It could be that I am biased as ms. Williams was my childhood idol, I don't believe her resignation to be soley (or even mostly) her fault


Now lets look at Miss England 2009



July 22, 2009 Ms. Christie became the first black woman to be named Miss England in its 50 year history....then gets decrowned November 7, 2009. Not even a full 5 months later.....OVER A MAN!
so what if the guy had the body of an Adonis...so what if his velvelty milk chocolate skin made your mouth water....You would throw all that away because your boyfriend's ex showed you an explicit text message she said your man sent her?

Yeah you're a dumb ass....you should even get barred from competing in teh Olympics.
First off, the key word is ex as in no longer as in he is your man now. The hell are you fighting over him for?
Secondly, you were just catapulted to fame for being the first black women to be named to a post which represents your country. DO. YOU. NOT. SEE. HOW. MAJOR. THAT. IS? Do you not realize how many black girls saw themselves in you and grew miles of esteem because of that. Did you not see how your winning that title allowed the WORLD to see black women in a positive non nappy headed pussy popping on a handstand wear a leotard and grind my pelvis light? only for you to come out and in one second just reiterate every negative steroptype of black women... All because of a man.
You're a Dumb ass.

and a real woman would have known the problem was with her man, not another woman.

So you lost your title for fighting miss Manchester...(who lost to you in the Miss England pagent)
makes you the real loser
Grow up and you owe everyone an apology






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Wednesday, November 4, 2009

You're so Vain






Yesterday I was home, flipping through the channels and stumbled upon the Tyra Show about black Market Plastic Surgery. At one point this former stripper was recounting her horrifying tale of butt injections gone wrong and the entire audience was in tears... My sick ass sat on the couch dying..alternating between a coughing and laughing fit. the more i laughed, the harder i coughed and the more this lady told her story the more i laughed...



The girl got hydrogel injections from a nurse she looked up online (keyword here is nurse) who said for about 1500 she could get the injections done in a hotel room (yes a hotel room) and dumb stripper dora falls for it. This is a woman with 2 kids. So she has teh procedure done, teh lady walks in and searches the room, when the room is all clear she says ok, now we can start. proceeds to inject the hyrdogel in the strippers ass. The stripper said it was burning, she couldn't take the pain so she ended up only doing one side. The next day she passes out at teh airport, they take her to the hospital and she is released. Two days later she is rushed to the emergency room where she is treated for an embolism and the doctors in efforts to save her life have to slice her butt open to scoop out the enflammed butt tissue and hydrogel.
The audience is in tears.

Im not. Not even the least bit sympathetic.

A second lady got a botched breast implant. she was 17, was told no by her mother to getting implants. She went to england and some whack job charged her 3500 to do the implants... he boobs looked like as tyra so eloquently put it "a boob on top of a boob" her mother ended up having to pay for her reconstruction (my daughter would have had 4 titties in life but to each their own)

The sad part of all these stories was each person remarked that they were fine before the surgery...Why is it that it takes you to muck up God's work for you to realized that it was a masterpiece?

Brings me to this Latisse bullshit that Brooke Shields is running around raving about...it lengthens your eyelashes....but it comes with a whole hosts of side effects...one that includes permananet loss of vision...do you think you will truly give a crap about how long your eyelashes grew if you can't see them? nah, not at all.

I'll be the first to admit i would love a bigger ass, a more svelte wasit line but i'll be damned if i'm going to get plastic surgery.....But lets say i do.....Why the hell would i go to some back alley surgeon and expect anything less than discounted results or death. I don't think these people should be awarded financial compensation. To me, accepting such hugely discounted prices means that you acknowledge the shadiness of the operation and the consequences that will follow. If the price of your dream ELECTIVE surgery is prohibitively expensive then its too expensive and you can't afford it. Leave it at that. You would really rather a bigger ass or slimmer waist than life? It isn't worth it. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder......and if you thought they were making fun of your flat ass before...they're definitely making fun of your flat disfigured ass now.



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Thursday, October 22, 2009

Been Doing some........

Thinking..

My posts have been sporadic. I've been studying for the LSAT...Trying to increase my score to better market myself for the 2010/11 school year. Try Blogging when you're up to your ass in logic sequencing games...(but i do have a blog topic i'm trying to find the most polite way to tackle...It will probably end up with me just blurting it out)


Listening.....

Being the consumate Brandy Stan i've been listening to her "unreleased" music.
Sweet Nothing is my jam. Just makes me fall in love with her vocals all over again. The song is just so light and airy...very suiting title for the song
take a listen

Sweet Nothings - www.thatgrapejuice.net - Brandy


....Honorable Mention goes to Feels soo Good

Feel So Good - Brandy

Don't say i don't share my goodies ;)

Writing....
I've got this idea for a book, well three, 2 of which are non-fiction. The other is a continuation of "Free to Go"

The characters just started talking through me. I was glad to record their journey.

Exercising....
down 2 more pounds. 1 dress size.

Forgiving and Releasing....
For sometime I've held this grudge against King's father because of the broken promises and the fact that I'm pulling this load alone....but i've let bygones be bygones and while it still hurts just a bit i'm cleansing myself and moving on.
no longer going to carry that burden...

Learning.....
Patience. My son literally screamed and cried for an hour and a half b/c he didn't want to sit on the toilet.

Living.....
MY LIFE LIKE IT'S GOLDEN



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Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Interactive Blog: The Black Movie Version

Real Simple......




Name a Line from your favorite Black Movie... The next commentor will state the name of the movie where the line was taken and lastly quote their favorite Line



I'll Start


"Now If you have any other questions about your royalties and how I keep my books... My office hours are:?" <----That's an Easy One
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Friday, October 16, 2009

Negative 2




SO Update on my Quest to those Shoes mentioned here:


First things first:
I devoured that Banana Pudding Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Needless to say I could not take it easy at the Gym. My arms are sore, my legs are sore, hell there are muscles I forgot I had that are sore. I thought I was going to vomit. I didn't.

But I did forget on two occasions about this little thing I have in common with the French..... I completely forgot my pitts had beards until I started working the arms and wondered wtf all the dudes were looking at....and I forgot it again today.

This clear lady asked me to weigh her on the scale.. I gave her a pass because she had a thick accent...I explained to her how to do it then left to get dressed. Then Something Happened....not like that last time

I bend down to get my things out the Locker and she (whose locker is above mine) stands directly besides me and drops her towel....leaving me bent over in front of her as she stands there. Buck. Ass. Naked. what the fucking fuck? I backed away, stood up straight...and left. Just nasty


anywho
the point of this was to say...as the title suggests I lost 2 pounds. I'm quite proud. I feel like Claire huxtable when she was trying to fit into that sequence dress.

I've got an outfit all picked out for when I lose the weight AND buy those shoes.....



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Wednesday, October 14, 2009

I've got the Golden Ticket








Ok I'm a woman of a certain age with a son so I've done certain things. During those things I've had one guy pull out mr. Wonka's packaging...




Now I've twittered this before but I'm going to say it here...magnums are the brainchild of some overzealous profit hungry executive who creatively found a way to successfully market safe sex to the black community. Now this is purely anecdotal as I haven't conducted any experiments to back up this thought.
In all of the male blogs that I frequent, they all mention (most) that golden wrapper. Its as if we're in the proverbial lockeroom sizing them up.

Now like I said I had one pull out the golden ticket then pulled out his unstatuesque member and I guess I was waiting for the rest; and I've had others pull out lifestyles and I tried to figure out how they were going to fit it all in.

So let's's settle this once and for all....do you really need that magnum?


And this song is funny....but not entirely safe for work...

Caveman - 20 Fingers


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Tuesday, October 13, 2009

The Hustle





So I've devised a way to get myself into shape and yep...it involves those shoes above.

Ok here are the specs:

Those shoes cost 289 U.S. Dollars @ Bakers (sidenote: did anyone not tell the bakers, Aldo's and Steve Madden's that there is a recession? WTF is going on?)

Now my insurance company will pay me up to $200 dollars for using my gym membership. I must turn in my paperwork by 11/21 in order for all my time to count. I will apply my reimbursement to the cost of those shoes.
Today is Day one...I will check in at the end of the week. I will be literally on the elliptical with a pic of these shoes dangling in front of me....on the floor sitting up to those shoes...

plus I've got this pictorial project in Early Novemeber that I MUST be right for...I done opened my mouth about the quality of the photographer's subjects so I MUST BE BETTER

So there it is.....



P.S.

I have already gotten laughed at for this plan and I don't care. Yes My shoe problem is that bad. So what. Just wait until I post pics of me in THOSE SHOES. Oooh Weeeee



P.P.S
I made an entire pan of Banana Pudding last night as my send off. I intended for it to be gone thus the 2 shrek size portions I consumed... It's still there :( Let's pray I can ignore its bananany goodness.. (I probably won't which means 2 a day gyms until it's gone...)

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